


What We Feel and What We See

by Purple_Firestorm



Series: Every Choice Made (The Walking Dead) [1]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multi, Original Character Death(s), Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Scars, Smut, Torture, Violence, Zombies, abuse recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 01:36:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8777977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_Firestorm/pseuds/Purple_Firestorm
Summary: Aura is an OFC that is the only doctor with the saviors. She is also the only one that can talk back to Negan and get away with it. It's clear she hates what Negan puts his own people and other communities through, but is unable to leave behind her family, or put others in danger. When a run goes bad Negan instructed her not to return from if it did, Aura finds Daryl Dixon, an Alexandrian. They share many scars, some more recent than others, and relate very well to one another. Fluff, angst and smut all ensue as they work out long-seeded issues together. But now, exiled from the saviors and not welcome anywhere else because of her past whit Negan, Aura has to make a lot of hard choices, not all of them hers to make.





	1. The Doctor of the Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter in a series revolving around an OFC that wins over Daryl Dixon.

I stood alone in the medical bay and sorted through some meds the men had returned with. In the distance I heard them laughing and cheering, like they had worked so hard to get the things I was now sorting for my people. I looked down at the tray, angrily, and was tempted to throw the meds down a drain. I stopped myself and thought about the people that needed the meds, how much they needed me and how much they meant to me. I sighed and continued sorting the meds, pushing my honey-colored hair out of my face. When I was done, I looked at myself in a mirror and sighed. The only thing still remotely ‘me’ in the reflection were my intense green eyes.

That was the cost of being in the saviors, for me at least. Since my brother died, I hadn’t been the same, and certainly not towards Negan. They had been on a run together, to get some supplies, and my brother left with Negan, and everyone else, but my brother was the only one that didn’t return. They hadn’t even come to get their injuries looked at, so I had assumed they had no injuries. From what I imagined, they left my brother behind. That was all I needed to know. That started my anger with Negan, and it only got worse after he assigned me some shit jobs for minimal points after I rejected his advances. I wasn’t sure what else he expected; he got my brother killed, the last family I had. But I moved on, and eventually, I was ok, and took over as the main doctor for the saviors.

I had no medical training, but I had an affinity for biology, chemistry and healing people, and for medicine in general. I was able to manufacture Ether, used to make people loopy, at least long enough to work on something small like stitches; I was also working on making a longer-lasting mixture for surgery or any procedure that would take longer than a few minutes. The anesthesia was long gone, but I had a mixture of natural remedies that worked ok, but they took time to make, because most needed to grow in the gardens, or be gathered in the woods. 

Negan had been reluctant to put me in a position of power, considering we both knew how I felt about him, but he had little choice. I couldn’t stand Negan, from him stealing from other communities, to his 5 wives, to his skewed point system. He called his wives 1,2,3,4,5 because he would change them out if they bored him. He changed wives 2-5 all the time, but wife 1 was Dwight’s ex-wife. That was how Dwight ended up with that massive burn on the side of his face.

A young boy came in, and he looked bad; his father clutched his arm as he limped in, holding his leg and I told him to sit on any of the 10 gurneys in the scrubbed clean room. They sat on the one closest to me, and I looked the boy over. I think his name was Andy, and his father was one of the guards, so he had enough points for whatever treatment his son needed. I looked his leg over and noticed it was a long, but shallow cut and looked a few days old. I felt something under the cut and figured that was the pain he was feeling. I pulled out a scalpel and gave him some sedatives to calm him down. We were very low on pain meds as it was, and this was an easy fix. I needed to save the powerful meds for something serious, like a gunshot wound. I cut open the wound, as Andy dozed in and out on the bed and pulled out small pieces of metal. The cut hadn’t gotten infected, so I felt it was safe to just wash it out and stitch it up. I told the father to keep it open to air, keep it dry and clean, and if Andy was going to work, he needed to cover the wound to prevent infection. His father thanked me and I wrote down what had been used.

I cleaned up and another person came in, this time with stomach pains and I felt a panic when the little girl showed where the pain was. Her adoptive mother was there with her, Sarah was the little girl’s name, and she was only about 8 years old. She pointed to the right side of her lower abdomen, and when I pushed on it, the little girl cried in pain. She had a very high fever, intense pain and swelling in that area. “Molly,” I said to the mom and moved her over to another bed and sat her down. “Molly, it’s appendicitis, a bad appendix.”

Molly looked at me, confused, and they were both made aware that Negan had entered the room. I ignore him as Negan stepped towards me, and looked back at Molly, holding the mother’s hand. “Molly, if we don’t take out the appendix, soon, it’ll explode. If that happens, it’s only a matter of hours before Sarah dies from blood poisoning.” Molly instantly started to cry and I held her, letting Molly get out a few tears before I pulled the distraught woman up and looked her in the face. “Molly, listen to me. This is an easy surgery; before the turn, this was the first surgery interns would perform. I can do it in less than 30 minutes, but we need to do it now, before it’s too late. Now, deep breath, you need to be strong for Sarah. She’s going to be scared, and it’s ok. I know you’re scared, and that’s ok. It’s ok to be scared, but you can’t show it in front of Sarah. I need you to talk to her, and I’m going to get everything ready, ok?”

Molly had been shaking her head the entre time, not wanting the surgery, not wanting to hear anything about her new daughter being in danger, but it couldn’t be helped. “Molly, look at me,” I said and pulled up her chin to stare into her eyes. “I know how you feel about surgery, I do. I know about your husband and your mother, but if we don’t do this, Sarah will die, in just a few days,” I said and Molly dissolved into tears and Negan watched, looking at them, wondering if I could convince the woman to let the surgery, the thing she feared more than walkers and Negan, happen to her daughter. Molly shook her head again, mumbling “no, no,” over and over again.

“Molly, do you trust me?” I looked at Molly, our hands in each other’s’ and Molly looked at them, then looked up at me. She slowly nodded her head. “Then trust me now, right here, right now with this. I love Sarah too, you know this. And I will do all that I can, all that I need, for her. You trust me, and so does Sarah. So trust me now,” I said, my eyes locking with Molly, who stopped moving, then her head slowly moved up and down. 

“Ok. Ok. Go talk to your daughter, and I’ll come for you both when everything is ready, ok?” I asked then Molly nodded, her eyes red and puffy, her voice gone and her body shaking. I walked past Negan with a “don’t you dare get involved” look, and Negan felt himself get riled up. 

“Sarah, I heard you weren’t feeling very good,” Negan said in his nicest voice possible and the little girl balked at being addressed by the man himself. Negan smiled, patted Sarah’s head and said, “don’t worry. I had my appendix taken out too when I was about your age.” Sarah still looked terrified, and Molly looked mortified that Negan was talking to her daughter. Her face was protective and a little disgusted. I came in and saw the looked on her face, and worried that Negan wouldn’t handle it very well, the revulsion on Molly’s face towards Negan, someone that had hurt her in the past, was touching her daughter. Negan saw the anger in Molly’s face, but patted Sarah’s shoulder again and smiled at her. Sarah was shaking from fear, her teeth actually chattering and Aura stepped between Negan and Molly and her daughter.

“Alright, they need some alone time, Negan. Everything is ready, I’m just waiting for the last helper to get ready,” I said to Molly and gently steered Negan away from them. “What are you doing?” I asked him, angry. “Just wishing them good fucking luck,” he said, his voice layered with smugness. “You know Molly hates you for what happened to her boyfriend, and that rubs off on Sarah. If that little girl’s heart doesn’t come down and slow, she’ll die on the table, before we even start,” I hissed at him and Negan was getting mad, and pushed back on me. I didn’t move under his gaze or his muscles.

“That’s your fucking problem, isn’t it? That’s why I keep a fucking fucker like you around. You know shit,” he said and I felt anger rising in my chest. “You keep me here because if I went anywhere else, you’d kill me and them. Unlike you, I don’t like putting other people in danger,” I hissed at him and I felt his hand on my face as he slapped me. Before he could say or do anything else, I ran at him, tackling him to the ground, and punched him right in the face, neck and lower abdomen. He let out a high pitched noise as I forced all the air out of him, then I backed off, knowing what would come next. He would make an example of me, as soon as he could. Last living doctor or not, he wouldn’t handle someone challenging him.


	2. Surgery on a Little Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura performs a simple surgery, but nothing is simple before or after. Between Negan's conflicting signals and the dwindling medical stores, she has a lot on her mind. And even more to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We see that Negan is conflicted over Aura, between what he feels, and what he sees happening around him as more and more people support her.

Negan stood up, sore and I stood there, face stern and unwavering. He stood in front of me, face leering down, anger on his face, his body shaking, and a very serious erection, for some reason. Negan grabbed me by my throat for a moment glared at him as he pinned me against the nearest tall object, then he suddenly pushed his lips against mine.

Negan had never struck me as someone that liked kissing, or contact other than his dick in something warm and wet. I pushed against him and he fell back, and I was beyond angry, and this made him more aroused. I walked past him wiping my mouth in disgust in an obvious fashion, and felt him turn to look at me, a smile growing on his face. I wouldn’t play that game with him, I wouldn’t be a pathetic concubine of his, just another wife trapped under his thumb. 

I stood in the scrubbed room, Sarah out cold on the table, an old heart monitor beeping in the background, someone manually ventilating the little girl, and my helper beside the table, a few tools on the tray. It wasn’t much, but this was an easy surgery, and I could be done in less than half an hour if everything went well. I got cleaned up and gowned up, and readied myself over the body of Sarah, her heart steady and her breathing normal. “Alright, everyone ready?” I asked the room and everyone nodded. Outside the room, Molly watched through a small window and then paced back and forth. Some of her friends had come to her, to comfort her, and a boy that Sarah liked had brought her flowers. He blushed deep red when he handed the flowers with a shaking hand, and Molly managed a smile at the little boy with a crush on her daughter. 

Inside, I had already cut Sarah open, found the appendix and had clamped it off. I cut if off and put it on a tray, then carefully tied the hole closed. When that was all done, I looked everything in that area over, making sure the infection hadn’t spread, and when I was satisfied, I closed her up. As my helper cleaned up Sarah’s wound, and covered it with boiled cloth, I looked at the clock on the wall. It took me less than 20 minutes to do the surgery. I felt proud and accomplished as I cleaned up and headed outside to talk to Molly and everyone waiting.

It looked like half the sanctuary was outside the doors, and I smiled as I came out, Molly coming up to me and I nodded to her. “Sarah is sleeping off the meds, and she’ll be sore for a few days, but she’ll be back to her spunky self in less than a week.” I said and Molly fell to her knees, wrapping her hands around the bottom of my shirt and thanking me on bended knee. “Come on Molly, its OK. Sarah is fine. You’ll be fine. And if Sarah wants, she can see her own appendix. I think she’ll find it really cool,” I said to Molly as I picked her up and sat the poor, exhausted woman down on a stool. Her friend rubbed her back and comforted her, and Molly just dissolved into relieved tears. “You can see her in a few minutes, she’s just being cleaned up and dressed. I’ll check on you both later,” I said and patted Molly’s back, then went to check on the medical stores.

At the storage area, I heard a faint scattering of applause and she blushed a bit, and smiled at everyone as I walked past. Everyone had thought that the time of surviving surgery, or surgery in general, was gone, but I had just saved that little girl from a very painful death. I was the new hero for the sanctuary, and I could feel Negan’s eyes burning into me as he watched me from his perch above the main area. I didn’t look at him and instead walked into the storage area and counted everything for the medical supplies. I had added a lot of home remedies, some herbal and natural remedies, but they were also dwindling. The powerful meds were almost gone, clean, sterile dressings were long gone, and there wasn’t much left for me to use in case I needed to perform another surgery, a birth or even simple stitches. I rubbed my neck absently then my hand bumped into someone and I spun around, recognizing the smell and presence of Negan.

“Well, you’re fucked now, aren’t you?” he said as he closed the door behind him, looking at the medical stores and I looked at them too, then at him. “No. not yet. I found something on a local hunter’s map, a ranger station along a trail a few days from here. Not many people would know about it. Might also have some guns, ammo, other supplies. But aside from that, there isn’t another place for meds for miles. Even the communities you steal from are running out.” I spat out the last comment and I felt his hand nail on my shoulder and he shoved me against the wall, his face even with mine, his eyes burning with anger and something else. “Yeah, so fucking what? I keep every fucking person in here alive, including you, and I expect to get the respect that I deserve. I keep everyone here fucking fed, watered, safe and warm at night. I keep this fucking place going, me. And I expect you to not fucking forget it,” he said, his hand at my throat again, but not as tight as before, almost gentle and loving.

“At the expense of everyone else. They survive without mooching off us, yet we can’t. From where I stand, we would be dead without them, and that is what pisses me off about you Negan. You aren’t doing shit to make it so we don’t need some other communities to keep everyone here alive. The greatest threat to a tyrant is the people he rules over. They will push back, Negan, whether or not you believe it, and when they do, we’re all going to be fucked.” I spat at him and his hand got very tight on my neck, so tight I saw black in the corner of my eyes and grabbed at his hand and wrists.

“You fucking think I don’t know that? Fuck, I see it every fucking time,” Negan said, his hold getting lighter as I started to lose my grip on his hands and I looked up at him, rage building again. “Then fucking do something about it. We can’t live off them forever,” I said and tried to walk around him. “Where the fuck’re you going after this?” he said. “The ranger station. I was gonna take Dwight, Ryan, and Michelle, so we could travel fast and quiet. That reminds me, I gotta ask if they finished making me some arrows. There’s hogs in the area, we might get lucky, “I said the last part to myself and Negan looked down at me and I looked back up at him. 

“What, you wanna send someone else? Michelle and I are the best shots, Ryan is the strongest guy I can stand, and Dwight, well I know you won’t let us go without one of your guards. Why you trust him, I don’t know. Guy’s an asshole and a coward,” I said in passing and tried once more to walk past Negan, but he stopped me again. 

“What Negan,” I said with a sigh and looked up at him. “don’t fucking test me, Aura. You come back with that shit, or you don’t fucking come back,” he said in a much darker voice than his normal teasing, smug and snide voice. I raised an eyebrow at him and said, “and what about when someone gets hurt or sick? Do you have a replacement for me? Do you know if that replacement will care about these people as much as I do?” I said to him, my face close to his as I looked him in the eye, and I knew no one would care about these people like I did. 

“I don’t give a flying fuck. You’re behind-the-back shit’s been going on long fucking enough. If you don’t come back with enough shit from that fucking place, there won’t be enough saving grace in this fucking world that can fucking save you. You fucking understand?” Negan had gotten very close to me as he threatened me and I knew that my time in the sanctuary was over, and I actually felt relieved. It was basically offering me an out of this shithole, something I’ve been wanting for months. “Fine,” I replied and he left the room before me. I could feel him glaring at me as I searched for Michelle and Ryan, and they could tell it too. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Michelle teased me and I pushed her arm in reply. We both let out laughs. Everyone knew that Negan and I were often at odds, and no one could backtalk or handle Negan like I could. Some assumed it was sexual tension, but those that knew me knew that I didn’t like him at all, from his ideas of multiple wives to stealing from other communities. He and I were just 2 completely different people forced to be under the same roof. I thought it was like being family with someone you really didn’t like, but tolerated because they were family. I tolerated Negan for the sake of everyone in the compound. Even Negan knew that without me, the people would be in trouble every time they got hurt, sick or needed help. 

But it was more than that. Negan was harsh, unforgiving and often violent when he didn’t get his way. But I was kind, forgiving, preferred some other kind of punishment to violence, but the main thing was that I didn’t need the violence for people to like me, to be loyal to me, or even to die for me. They did it without rules, without anything driving them other than what I meant to them, ad what they meant to me. It’s because what I gave them, more than medicine, kindness and attention. I gave people hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and comments are welcome. Let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter, kind-of filler chapter as Aura and a few others go on a run.

I spent the rest of the day prepping for the trip, planning where we would go, the safest and shortest way to get there and back, talking with the group going about what to do. I liked Michelle, she had to be my best friend in the sanctuary, and I liked Ryan, but couldn’t really stand Dwight. The man was a coward and very underhanded, though I did feel bad for him for how he got the burns on the side of his face. The woman he loved had been taken by Negan, and when she kissed her real man, Dwight, Negan found out. Negan has a rule for all his wives: they can’t cheat on him, though he’s free to cheat on them. If caught cheating, the wife has to either choose to go back to the other guy and work for points to scrape by, and incur Negan’s wrath, I was sure. 

That, or they would stay with Negan, and as punishment, Negan would heat up an iron and place it to the guy’s face, usually on the left side, leaving those burns and scars. As in Dwight’s’ case, his wife had chosen Negan; I thought it was a coward’s move, and so did most everyone that lived in the sanctuary. Dwight had the iron plastered to the side of his face and could no longer blink on his left side, so he needed to use saline drops on his eye. It also looked horrible, and that was half the battle that Negan liked to wage on his people: psychological warfare.

The next day we left before the sun was all the way up and headed south for the guard tower. We drove one of the few cars there that we had, and it would only take a few hours to get there, assuming noting went wrong, but something always went wrong. A few hours into the trip, something popped our tire and Ryan got out, the only gun we had out, ready to fire as he looked at it. He shook his head in anger and pulled out the spare to replace the tire as the rest of us kept watch. I had my bow and arrows ready, and Michelle had a few knives that she’s learned to throw, and Dwight just had his club. If we were attacked from range we were screwed.

Ryan made quick work of the tire, but just as he got the new tire on, I heard the sound of an arrow flying and pulled Ryan to me, and the arrow hit the car instead of him. I shot an arrow back and I was a much better shot than whoever had shot it. I heard the sounds of the arrow hitting someone, the cursing of his friends and the 4 of us gathered around the tire as Ryan put it on in record time. I heard another arrow fly and pushed Michelle’s head down and the arrow grazed my arm, lodging itself in the roof.

“Come on, Ryan!” Dwight shouted in fear and I rolled my eyes at him. whoever was shooting at us didn’t have the physical strength or numbers to face us, which was why they were continually firing arrows that were loud and heavy, easily broken and veered away from us at random. Ryan finally got the tire repaired and I shot a few more arrows at the hiding shooters, and we jumped back into the car and took off. I started laughing in the car and everyone else looked at me like I was nuts.

“That was the most pathetic attack I’ve ever seen. I almost feel bad for them,” I said as I leaned back into the seat and watched where the attack had been on the road until I couldn’t see it anymore. I was hoping one of the attackers would’ve come out of hiding, so I could see them, maybe get an idea of what we’d been fighting, but nothing happened.

“Yeah, that was pretty weak,” Ryan agreed and Michelle laughed a few times before we turned our thoughts back to the road. The rest of the drive took most of the morning because we needed to detour around fallen trees and power lines, washed-out roads and wrecks. We arrived at the trail about noon, after hours of driving and got out, disguised the car and headed up the trail.

We walked well into the night, but the bright moonlight and thinning trees allowed us to see pretty well into the distance. Everything was quiet, except the crickets and sounds of animals in the trees and around us. I thought I heard a faint shout as we neared the top of the trail, but didn’t hear anything afterwards. At the ranger station, we walked in, careful, but found it was basically untouched. A window was broken from a fallen branch, and rain had seeped in through the roof, but otherwise there was nothing to suggest someone had already been there. I looked through the rooms with Ryan while Michelle and Dwight kept watch. Ryan and I got along really well, and I thought we might make a nice couple, he wasn’t into me. Or girls in general.

We met in the middle of the station and compared what we’d found: a shotgun, a box of rounds, a hunting rifle with scope and close to 100 rounds, and a small caliber rifle for birds and smaller animals with 300 matching ammo. The guards at the sanctuary would love the ammo and new guns, along with the cleaning kits, and a very large and comprehensive hunter’s guide, detailed maps and massive first aid box. I looked it all over, taking inventory of all that was in the box: suture kit, syringes, local anesthetic, 2-way radios, extra batteries, ointments for stings, bites, rashes and allergic reactions, even a few Epi-pens. Those were pure gold, worth their weight in ammo, along with the medical drip bags and sterile gauze and dressings. I smiled wider every time I looked into the box and finally nodded, we would take everything in the station and head back at first light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, thoughts and suggestions are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura hears a fight in the woods and comes across a certain crossbow toting Alexandrian, and she helps him, regardless of what side they fight for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Aura's real humanity shows through here, how she's not willing to completely ignore someone in trouble, even if they fight for opposite sides. Plus, its an excuse to start a little fun going. (wink)

The trip down took longer than the trip up, because we had so much with us, we needed to be careful to not slip. I thought I heard another shout again, this time closer, but it echoed a lot in the woods, so it could be from a mile or more away. We made our way to the car and found it like it was before, but heard the shout again, and so did the others. Everyone packed things up fast as I kept watch, then heard the sounds of someone fighting a few other people. I looked at the group, told them to leave if I wasn’t back in an hour, or if they needed to and headed off into the woods. I was thinking it was one of ours, because they were hunting today, and this area was full of wild boar.

As I neared the sounds of the fight, I looked around a few trees and saw that 4 people had pinned down a man, beat to hell and in need of attention. I had some of the suture kit still in my pocket for my own arm, but he needed it more than I did. The guy looked decent, healthier looking than the other 4, and I thought I knew him from somewhere, but didn’t have time to think as a crossbow was raised up and pointed at the head of the kneeling man. 

He knelt on the ground, overpowered by their desperation, and Daryl saw his own crossbow aimed at his head. He jumped a little when he heard an arrow fly, but it wasn’t in him. An arrow stuck out of the head of the one pointing his own crossbow at him. Daryl took his bow back in a heartbeat as another arrow flew and killed another attacker, the only woman, an arrow right in the chest. Daryl fired his arrow at another of the attackers, and another arrow from the cover of the woods flew and hit the last attacker standing. Daryl tried to stand up, but a faint, female voice said, “don’t move, or you’re next.”

I slowly crept thru the woods to him, my feet light from years of hunting deer and turkey with my dad and uncle, and slowly he put the crossbow on the ground and raised his hands. I came out of the shadows of the trees and looked at him, contemplating. I could kill him and take the crossbow, but I didn’t really want to. I didn’t need to. Besides, he would need to load a bolt onto the bow for it to fire again, and that would take more time than it would take me to put a knife into his head. I approached him and looked his injuries over and he pulled away from me touching him.

“Stop moving, you need some cleaning and stitches,” I said and dabbed a clean cloth in my water and rubbed the dirt from his man cuts and wounds. A few larger and deeper cuts needed stitches on his shoulder and his face. He kept pulling away from me, until I got fed up and pinned him to the ground with my legs over his stomach and washed him that way. “Don’t fight, you brought this on yourself,” I said as I finished cleaning his cuts and pulled out the suture kit. “So, where you from?” I asked and he just glared at me, and I could tell he was trying really hard not get an erection as I moved slightly on top of him. 

“You look too healthy to be on your own, good hunter or not. Where you from? The hilltop? Ravines? Alexandria?” I asked and felt him shift under me when I said the last one. “Alexandria? That’s even farther away than me. I’m guessing you’re hunting boar in these woods. I heard a rumor there’s a 500-pound monster here somewhere…” I was talking as I got the needles and sutures ready and I saw him glare at it. “Relax, I won’t go all mad scientist on you. It’ll hurt, but you need to hold still. You’ll get all infected if you don’t get stitches,” I argued with him as he shifted under me and tried to push me off, but my legs held him tight and eventually he just glared at me, and I could feel him no longer able to hold back the erection that bumped my ass a little as I shifted on him, getting a better look at the gash on his arm.

“You don’t even know me,” he finally said in a thick country accent, his voice raspy, deep and sexy as hell. “It’s true, I don’t know you. But I know you needed help, and I can’t ignore that all the time, even if I should,” I said quietly and I felt him get harder under me, and I blushed a little bit as he blushed too. “There, last one,” I said as I pulled on the last suture and tied it off for him. I used tape and clean cloth to cover the stitched up area, told him to keep it clean and to cut the stitch and just pull them out slowly in 10 days. He nodded to me, I could see he was a little embarrassed about his erection but I smiled down at him as I got off his body and helped him to his feet, slowly. He was sore and I could see it on his face, but he would live.

“Where ya from?” he finally asked and I felt my heart drop. If I told him the truth, I was sure he would attack me. “The Saviors are my people, but Negan isn’t,” I said quietly and I was right. He threw a punch at me and I grabbed it as he did and retaliated with a hit to his gut and he bent over a little bit, then tackled me to the ground, knife in his hand. I kicked him off me, and I shouted at him, angry, “you think I like Negan and what he does? I can’t stand him, and he knows it too. I let him know every time I see him I can’t stand his psycho, manipulating, womanizing ass; I’m there for my family, the people I care about, the people that need me. Sarah, she just had surgery for her appendix, her adoptive mom, Molly, Ryan, Kate, Michelle, Jackson, Emmett, everyone that needs me. Whatever Negan has done to you, and I know he’s done something, I wish it wasn’t that way, but everyone I love is there. That’s the only reason I’m still there.”

The man, Daryl calmed down, but there was still rage on his face as he looked at me. I picked up my bow and arrows, hear the faint sounds of walkers coming and decided to leave as fast as possible. I’d been gone about half an hour now, so I needed to go back or be left behind. I made it back to the car just as the others had gotten out, maybe to come looking for me, but all piled back in when they saw me. I jumped in beside Michelle and didn’t tell her much as she asked what happened. I just told her that someone from another community needed help, so I helped. Dwight seemed angry that I had done that, but I didn’t give a shit what he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought about Daryl and Aura's first encounter. I hope he's not too out of character. Comments, thoughts and suggestions are appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, character death. Dwight is a coward, no surprise, and a herd comes after the runners, including Aura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't actually seen the second half of the 6th season, or any of the 7th season, so I'm sorry if what I'm writing conflicts with what happens on screen.

We got a few miles in the car before we saw a new herd on the road that we hadn’t seen before, probably attracted from the noise and smell of the attackers we faced earlier, or my shouting with Daryl. We stopped suddenly and Dwight thought about trying to plow through them, but the sheer numbers would not only get under our tires and stop up from driving further, but we’d be surrounded and dead in seconds. So we got out and pulled everything from the car. Negan would throw a fit because we lost the car, but we could come back for it when the herd had moved on. The herd hadn’t seen us yet, so we stood on the other side of the car, out of sight, and debated what to do. We would need to cut back to a road and got the very long way, taking about a week to get back, or we could chance going through the woods to the backs of the herd, and hope we were quiet ad fast enough to get away before they spotted us.

“Okay, let’s think about it. if we go behind the herd, we can shave days off our walk, and not need to go through any area we haven’t cleared yet, but we run a very high risk of the herd seeing us and need to leave behind supplies to get away alive. And we also run the risk of a few stragglers catching us as we walk through. Or, we take the long way, add a few days to our trip and don’t risk the herd, but travel through areas we haven’tbeen through yet, with a lot of supplies in tow. Well, either way, we got a target on us,” I said and looked at everyone ad they considered it, and then decided to put it to a vote, something Negan never really allowed. 

“All for going the long way?” I asked and Dwight raised his hand. “All for going behind the herd?” I said and raised my own hand, and so did Michelle and Ryan. “Fuck you all,” he spat at us and I snarled at him. “Majority decides; we go behind the herd. Gather everything up, we need to go before we’re spotted.”

We bundled everything we could, putting as much as we could into the single tub, the guns over our backs and ammo tucked in our pockets, Ryan and Dwight carrying the tub, and Dwight let us know how much he hated it, while Michelle and guarded them and kept watch. We walked about half a mile into the woods to get behind the herd, then walked towards what had to be the rear of the herd as it meandered through the forest. As we got near the herd, we could smell and hear them, but we were quiet, well, 3 of us were.

“This was a fucking mistake,” Dwight said, afraid and unable to shut his mouth. “Shut the fuck up, Dwight.” I whispered to him in an angry hiss. We continued walking, Dwight stopping and jumping at every little movement, every noise and it was putting the rest of is in danger. “Dammit, Dwight, stop it. You’re gonna get us killed,” Michelle hissed at him. A straggler appeared and Dwight pulled out his gun in a panic and fired.

“Fuck Dwight! What the hell? You just called the herd back to us!” I shouted at him and cuffed him on the back of the head in my anger. “Run!” I shouted and we took off, going as fast as we could, Dwight ahead of us, the damn coward, Ryan carrying the entire box himself as Michele and I tried to defend him. The walkers were returning to the sound of the shot and increasing in number even as we ran to get away from them. They came from everywhere, behind every tree, in holes in the ground, all around us they came from the shadows, moaning, their hands reaching to grab us. 

Ryan fell, his foot caught in an animal hole and I heard a crack. I pushed the box from his arms and pulled him up and we limped together, trying to outrun the herd. Michelle was trying to clear a path for us as we hurried, trying to put distance between us and the walkers, but no matter where we went, turned or ran, we kept getting pushed somewhere else by the walkers. Ahead of me, Michelle screamed as a walker on the ground got her ankle and the swarming walkers took her down in a heap of blood, guts and screaming.

“No,” I cried, tears falling down my face as I helped Ryan past her, the distraction buying us time. I pulled him, almost carrying him as we hurried past Michelle as she screamed, and all I could do was run with Ryan, cry for her and hope she died quickly. Her screaming stopped and I let out a sob as I pulled Ryan along, his face turning green with his pain and he vomited, some of it getting on me. I pushed down my own vomit and pulled him along, the walkers slowly losing ground on us, the herd a little bit behind us now, and only a few stragglers posed a threat now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought about the first death so far; I know its not a main character on the TV show, but she's been a main character so far in my series. Comments, thoughts and suggestions are appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura must do something risky to help her other living friend. And he has a surprising request of her.

An hour of fast limping and me basically dragging Ryan through the woods later, we stopped at a small cabin, one that looked kind of burnt out but had a standing door and walls, even if the roof wasn’t completely there anymore. I pulled Ryan into the cabin, pushed the door closed and put rags over the windows so no one would see in and the light from the small fire I was making wouldn’t be so bright. I made a small fire in a large, empty can, boiled some water and looked at his ankle. It was bad, broken so bad a piece of his bone was sticking out through his skin. I stuffed a rag in his mouth and he held onto a table as I moved his foot around to get all the bones realigned. His pained yelling was barely muffled in the cloth, so I stuffed another one in his mouth and finished aligning his foot.

He didn’t pass out like I hoped he would, because he was in so much pain. Without the box we lost, I had nothing to give him; I gave him the ibuprofen I had on me, hoping it would help, but it wasn’t doing anything. I needed to get him back, or else go for the box and hope I could come back without bringing the herd with me. I left Ryan in the cabin, the curtains drawn and fire out, a rifle in his hands and decided to go of the box. “Don’t, don’t fucking dare,” he said, his hand pulling at mine and he wouldn’t let go. “You need it, Ryan, and I won’t go back without you,” I said, pulling myself free and ignored his protests as I left the cabin and headed back. 

On the way there, I heard the walkers still there, but there were fewer of them this time, and I figured they had moved on, or something had called their attention elsewhere. I hid in a tree, high above the ground, silent and stealthy, as I looked around and found the box, its plastic shining in the setting sun. It was about a 100 yards away, but a few dozen walkers and maybe even a nearby herd stood between me and the box. I waited for a while, hoping the walkers would wander off, but they just milled about, not moving away from the box, or anywhere really. So I decided to make a trap for them to draw them away and get a chance at the box. 

I hurried through the woods again, this time heading to the car we’d left behind, and used a piece of wood to wedge the horn down. It blared in my ear loudly and I slipped back into the woods and waited for the walkers to pass the box. Finally, after they wandered toward the car and the loud horn, I was able to grab the box. It weighed a lot more than I thought it would, over 60 pounds, maybe 70. Instead of carrying it in my arms like Ryan had done, I pulled it behind me, making a lot of noise, more than I wanted to, but I made it back to the small cabin. I went in and my heart fell when I saw Ryan wasn’t moving. I hoped he’d passed out, and when I felt his neck, I felt he had a faint, fast pulse. I forced some pain pills down his throat and just watched and waited, letting them work, hoping it would bring his heartrate and fever down.

A few hours passed, I had relit the small fire in the can, and Ryan had woken up. He was out of it, the meds really strong and making him loopy, but I was more concerned with his infection. Something had gotten into his leg and it looked like a very nasty infection was working its way up his leg, taking just minutes to travel from the broken skin to his knee. My biggest worry now was to either amputate and hope the infection didn’t spread, or give him some meds and hoped they started to work before the infection reached his femoral artery. If it did, he would get septic and die in about an hour, regardless of what I did. He looked at me through bleary eyes, pulled me in for a hug and said, “Don’t doubt him so much. He’s saved more lives than he’s taken.” I pulled away from him and looked at him, knowing he was talking about Negan, but there wasn’t much he could do to convince me to like Negan. I just nodded, said, “Ok, Ryan. Ok,” and gave him something to sleep so I could think without his big eyes staring at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Comments, suggestions and feedback is appreciated. Also, Ryan's thoughts about Aura and Negan will make more sense as the story goes on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl reunites with Aura and helps her with an emergency amputation. When it fails, Aura fulfills a promise she made to Daryl, and it shocks him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer, Daryl finds Aura and Ryan, and he wonders how someone so surprisingly selfless can be part of a group with such a selfish leader.Trigger warning again, character death and sadness.

Daryl followed the trail of the group that woman had been with, the Saviors, and hoped he could follow them to the sanctuary, but a herd of walkers stopped him. He walked around the herd and picked up the trial again, following it to a heap of bones, some left over organs, and a rifle and random ammo strewn on the ground. He picked it all up and followed the trail again, and realized the trail doubled back on itself. That woman had gone back for something. 

He followed the newer trail and saw a cabin with a faint glow behind the cloth drawn curtains and heard a faint, drugged up voice, then the woman spoke again, whispering. Daryl got closer and listened to them, but they had stopped talking and it sounded like the woman was the only one moving around. Daryl got even closer and looked through a hole in the wall and saw the woman again, looking into a large plastic bin, pulling out medical supplies and looking at the unconscious man next to her. He looked bad, very pale, sweaty and clammy, and as she moved out of his sight, Daryl saw the bad break and the infection moving up the guy’s veins. 

“Move and I put a knife in your brain,” the woman said to Daryl, who hadn’t even heard her coming. No one hadbeen able to sneak up on him before, and he found himself a little aroused, but mostly annoyed. “Fine, I’m goin’” he said, then her hand stopped him. “Don’t. I need your help; I need you to hold him down. I gotta take off his leg,” she said and Daryl stared.

I lowered my knife from him as he turned to face me and saw the shock on his face. “I need you to hold him down,” I repeated and he finally shook his head and stared to walk off. “Please. I’ll give you whatever I don’t use,” I said, a little too desperate and eager. I don’t know what it was about him, but I wanted him around me a little bit longer. He stopped, torn between his distrust of me and the other Saviors, and the importance of what I offered him. “a’right,” he finally said and he followed me into the cabin as I used a pen to mark on his leg where I needed to cut. If I cut just below the knee, he would have the best chance of mobility and surviving.

Daryl knelt next to me and I could feel the anger her felt towards me because of the group I was part of, and I didn’t hold it against him. “I don’t blame you for hating us; sometimes I hate us too,” I said quietly as I cleaned my hands and Ryan’s leg. I made a small fire in the can again and heated up a pair of tweezers in the fire. I had done an amputation before now, and he lived, but that was when the other doctor was still alive and he had taken the lead. I had only cauterized the arteries and veins in the arm. I readied all the tools I needed and showed Daryl how to hold Ryan down so he wouldn’t move. If he moved around while I was cutting, I’d cut an artery and he’d bleed to death in minutes.

“Why ya let him do it then?” Daryl asked as I finished prepping Ryan and looked at Daryl. “Because everyone else is terrified of him, and he’s good at keeping everyone under his thumb. He kills anyone that challenges him, even those that were friends or family of those that challenged him, just to prove his point. He keeps everyone fed, warm, safe, but he expects a lot in return, too much. You know he’s got 5 wives now?” I said in passing and felt Daryl’s stare. I could tell the man wasn’t much for settling down for anyone, let alone 5. “Yep. If there’s a pretty woman that’s married to someone else, he’ll make the offer for them that the woman can become his wife. The wives have it easy: they don’t need to work or do anything else like everyone else does. They just gotta put out on demand, and give up whoever they were with before. He loves the power he has over them, the couple that he’s split up. And if the woman goes back to her man but then choses to stay with Negan afterwards, well, you’ve seen Dwight’s face, right?” I looked at Daryl as I finished cutting into Ryan’s skin.

Daryl nodded and I felt the anger rising in him, at Negan and at me and everyone else in the community. “Wanna know a secret, but you didn’t hear it from me,” I asked him as I pulled the tweezers from the fire and clamped the hot metal down on the larger vessel to stop the bleeding. “Mmm,” Daryl said and I looked back at him as I put the tweezers back in the fire, letting out the breath I’d been holding in, not wanting to smell the burning flesh. 

“More people like the doctor than they like Negan, and if it came to it, the numbers would be on the doc’s side. But the soldiers and fighters are on Negan’s side. That’s why the doc hasn’t made a move to get rid of Negan yet; it’d be all out civil war, and it would get a lot of people killed. The doc hates that, one of the main reasons the doc and Negan don’t get along. When Negan takes from other places, other communities and then treats it like it’s his, like he worked to get the shit he takes, that pisses the doc off the most. Negan feels entitled now, and if someone threatens that, he throws a tantrum, except his tantrums involve bashing brains in.” I paused in my conversation as I pulled the tweezers from the fire once more and closed off the rest of the vessels in Ryan’s leg. I wrapped his leg tight with sterile dressings on the inside, then wrapped it all in torn sheets and fabric.

I looked it all over and felt for a pulse on Ryan and sighed when I felt his pulse, but it was still fast and faint. I looked down at the removed leg and tossed it outside, far from the cabin so the smell wouldn’t call too many walkers. I sat back in the cabin and saw that Daryl hadn’t left yet. He sat on the cabin floor, looking from me to Ryan and then me again, the started to fiddle with his crossbow, obviously unsure what to say, ad rather socially awkward. I pulled out my own bow and looked it over; I looked at his crossbow, then looked at him, asking with my eyes and he hesitated, then we traded for a moment. His crossbow was well used, but the pulling power on it was intense. I couldn’t pull the bowstring back all the way, and he let out a faint laugh when my hands slipped from the bowstring and nailed myself in the face. “Dammit,” I said as I rubbed my aching nose, blushing as I heard his faint laughing.

I looked at him, then pushed the mostly full bin of medical stuff towards him; he looked at me, like he was surprised I had held up my end of the bargain. “I won’t tell if you don’t,” I said with a faint smile as he looked inside the box. “Do yourself a favor: hide this stuff separately, so when Negan comes to collect, he doesn’t get it all. He steals enough from you all, he doesn’t need to take this too. No matter how much we need it, I have a feeling you need it more,” I said as he looked up at me and he put the cover back on the bin, then paused and looked at me. 

“why ya doin’ this?” he finally said, his deep raspy voice getting to me. “Because I’m still human, and I need to keep at least some humanity,” I said to him in a faint voice, getting close to him and looking him dead in the eyes. He had amazing eyes, blue-gray, and had a puppy-dog look about him despite being dirty and covered in bruises and cuts, and very muscular. 

Ryan moaned awake, then shouted in pain, breaking the moment and I rushed to his side, and looked at his leg. I tried not to cry as I looked at it: the infection had spread to his thighs and was now in his blood. In a few hours, I knew he’d be dead. The look must’ve shown on my face as I looked at him and he spared a glance at Daryl, then pulled out something in his pocket and a note on it. “Give this to Michael,” he said to me, his voice faint and raspy as he held out a small box and a notecard with his messy scribbly writing on it. I looked it over and I felt tears running down my face. It was a proposal, not of marriage, but of being an official couple, not hiding it. I folded the card and opened the box. Inside was a silver thin metal ring, with the word ‘promise’ carved inside the ring, done rather crudely. It looked like Ryan had carved the words in himself. I put the box with the card in my pocket and promised I would get it to him.

Ryan thanked me, his voice getting faint and the infection quickly moving up his leg to his torso and his fever was getting intense. He looked like he was in so much pain, such intense pain. I pulled out my pistol and looked at him, offering him an option out, to end the pain, and end his life on his own terms. He looked at the pistol in my hands, then reached out his hand weakly to it, picked it up and put it to his own temple, pulling the trigger. I cupped my hand over my mouth as I held back the tears and the scream I wanted to let out. I was beyond angry; I was furious. This was all Dwight’s fault, and I intended to make sure everyone knew it before I killed him, letting everyone know what a coward Dwight was before I blew his brains out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked it, this one was sad to write because the death is much more in your face. I also meant Daryl to be intrigued a little bit by Aura and her willingness to give up what she has to him. It snowballs into angst, fluff and smut later. Comments, suggestions and feedback are welcomed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura and Daryl go their separate ways after Ryan's death, but are reunited when Aura gets into more trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I switch from Aura's POV to a 3rd person POV on purpose. Also, gore warning. It's a little graphic, so if you're squeamish, you may want to skip the 2nd half of the chapter.

I closed Ryan’s eyes before I took all the things he had on him. He’d want me to take it all back to the community. A lot of people would mourn his loss, even Negan would miss him at least a little bit. Ryan was a dependable, muscular guy, a workhorse that did as he was told and didn’t complain even when things got hard. I looked up and realized I had been talking out loud, like I was giving Ryan a service of my own. I wiped the tears from my face and eyes and looked back to Daryl. “You should get those things back to your people soon. Negan is going to visit you all in a few days, and you need enough time to hide it,” I said to him and looked away, kneeling down to Ryan, kissing his still warm forehead goodbye and walked out. I was followed by Daryl as he closed the door behind him, carrying the massive bin in his arms.

We parted ways after about an hour of walking in silence, he headed north, and I headed east. I made sure no one was following me to the community as I walked through the woods, staying off the roads now that I was on my own. I followed the sun, the faint outline of the road through the trees my guide, then decided to call it a night as the sun set early. Fall was approaching fast, and soon it would be too cold to go on runs, and we would need to rely on the other communities to get us through the winter. I hated that, relying on taking from others to make ends meet for myself. It made me feel weak, like a parasite, and I hated Negan for making it our reality in the sanctuary.

The next day I headed back through the woods again, staying within faint sight of the road, and following the movement of the sun to find my bearings. The day was cool, crisp and windy, and it was hard for me to hear anything coming over the sounds of the leaves rustling. I paused as I thought I heard a snort of some kind, I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was guttural, deep and animalistic. I took a few more steps, then something squealed loudly next to me and I had to run away as a massive boar ran at me, teeth gnashing and hooves pounding the ground as I tried to climb a tree and get away. I pulled out my gun and shot it once, twice, but it wasn’t stopping, then it was on me.

I pulled my hands to my face and neck to protect them and felt a tusk bury itself into my stomach and lower body. I pulled a knife from my belt as I felt myself bleeding out, vision going blurry, and stabbed upwards into the boar, stabbing it over and over into the massive black body, until it let out a final shriek and fell down, some of its massive bodyweight on me. I pushed it off me, slitting its throat to lighten its weight and slid out from under it and tried to stand. 

I looked down at the wound and could see deep into my own body, and tried not to pass out from the shock and the pain. I slid down to the base of the tree and then got back up when I heard the sounds of walkers coming. I forced myself to move, walking as long as I could, until I lost the strength and slid to the ground against another tree, the blood loss and pain getting to me. I thought I heard the sounds of someone coming towards me, but I couldn’t see, barely hear and nothing was making sense as I slipped into unconsciousness.

Daryl hid the bin in the woods, deciding to get some hunting done and not risk Negan catching him as he returned or before they could hide the stuff. He wasn’t sure what made that girl give him everything she had on her, but she seemed like a kind spirit, though fiery. As he walked through the woods, tracking a very large boar, he heard the sounds of a boar attacking someone or something and ran towards the sounds. As he got close to it, he saw a massive, 400+ pound boar attacking that woman and rushed to her aid as she slit the throat of the monster boar, then wandered off. He followed her, wondering if she would be able to make it to her camp, then she fell against a tree and stopped moving.

When Daryl got closer, he saw that her belly was ripped open, and could see something like an intestine or something sticking out of the wound. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move, so Daryl picked her up carefully and carried her to the hiding spot for the bin. As he set her on the ground, she became conscious again and looked around, pushing her hand out in confusion and fear, thinking Daryl was a walker as he got close to her. “stop it,” he said in his deep country rasp and she looked at him again, trying to stay conscious. “Daryl,” she said in her dazed state and for some reason, her saying his name sent shivers down his spine. 

“hold still,” he said and ripped her shirt open to look at her wounds. As he looked over the injuries, he couldn’t help but think about how beautiful she was. She had smooth, lightly tanned skin, toned body, long honey hair braided down her back, and intense green eyes. Her eyes were trying to focus as she tried to stop the bleeding herself, then Daryl pulled out the bin. He pulled everything out and Aura pointed to the things she needed. She pulled on the cleaning clothes, placing them in his hands and pointing to where he needed to clean. “I aint a doctor,” he said and she managed to whisper out, “neither am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the entire chapter, hope you weren't too grossed out. And good for you, too. Feedback and comments are appreciated.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura walks Daryl through surgery on own body after a boar attacks her. And as much as Daryl hates Negan and any of the Saviors, he helps take care of Aura. And Aura lets her mind go to places that makes her blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its short, but this chapter has a lot of foreshadowing and alluding to the future in it.

Daryl slowly put the cloth to her wounds and cleaned the protruding organs before pushing them back into her body. She clamped her mouth down on her shirt to muffle her screaming, occasionally kicking her feet in her pain, trying not to black out because she needed to direct Daryl. When he was done, Aura pointed to the sutures and showed him where to sew. 

Each needle puncture sent another sharp but short-lived pain through my body, but the pain meds and some water were helping to bring the pain down. I didn’t seem to have any internal bleeding as Daryl continued to work, and the pain slowly subsided to a more manageable level when he finished stitching.

Daryl had been staring at his hands as he sewed her shut, afraid he might hurt her worse than she already was. But she was a good teacher, her hands over his, moving them like he was a puppet. Her touch was sure but soft, directing without dictating, and he managed to find himself aroused again when she leaned back with a loud sigh, the sutures finally done. He cleaned her up, then decided to set up camp at that spot. He made a fire, roasted some of the boar that had attacked Aura, and ate it with her.

Aura ate tiny pieces, careful to not over stimulate her body after that injury, but Daryl was eating like he was at a chicken-leg eating contest. He was messy, slobbering as he bit into the meat, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and chewed kind of loudly. Aura ate maybe a few pieces before she stopped. She was exhausted and placed her jacket under her head to sleep on the ground.

“uh-uh,” Daryl said and picked Aura up and put her in the tent he had set up, then joined her in the tent, sleeping on the far side of her, the fire dying as she closed her eyes.

I woke up, hearing faint snoring and looked over to see the face of a sleeping and rather adorable Daryl. He looked so cute when he slept, without the smirk on his face, or the anger in his eyes. Still in his jacket, his arm under him, he flexed in his sleep and I realized how muscular and hot he was. I laid back, scolding myself for thinking that. I had been gored by a boar and I was thinking about getting laid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked. This is leading up to more between these 2, especially in that tent of his. (wink) yeah, not sorry for that one. Feedback and comments are welcomed.


	10. Round 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura and Daryl find themselves sweet on one another, and Aura can't resist the hotness that we all know and love as Daryl Dixon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots and lots of smut in this chapter. You have been warned.

A week passed before I was able to move around on my own, and I helped him hunt some more boar. The one I killed that attacked me had been eaten by walkers. I owed him for coming back and suing some of those supplies to save me, so I figured I would help him get some meat for his community. He wasn’t much for talking, but he told me a little bit about the people that were the most important to him. Rick was the leader, someone I had met already, ad was Daryl’s best friend and brother. They made one hell of a formidable partnership. Glenn was at the hilltop now with his wife Maggie, but they were next on the list, and I could tell that he was a little jealous of Glenn. Daryl, though he spent most of his time alone, was the only one of his main group that didn’t have someone. And I could tell that sometimes he wanted someone. Next was Michonne, Rick’s new love interest, and an expert with a katana. I wanted to see her use it, I bet it was amazing, like watching a dance or performance. Carl was Rick’s son, and a badass for being a kid. Judith was a baby, less than a year old, and rick loved her, even though she wasn’t biologically his.

I had asked about that story, but Daryl wouldn’t go into details, saying it weren’t his business, and he wasn’t gonna gossip like some old woman. He stopped talking when he mentioned those people and I had a feeling like he still considered me the enemy, and didn’t want to tell me too much. I couldn’t blame him, really. I thought I was the enemy sometimes, as odd as that sounded. 

We followed the tracks of some boar for a day or so before we came across their den area and waited for them to return. As the sun set, they returned to their dens, and both Daryl and I fired on them. I got a nice sized sow and Daryl got a boar, and we dressed them there and carried them back to where he’d set his tent. When we got back, I was exhausted, my sides were aching and I thought I had pulled some stitches out. I lifted my shirt when we stopped at the tent, not worrying about decency and looked at the wounds. Everything was still in place, so I looked back at my hog and started to skin and prep it. I couldn’t carry it back to the compound on my own, I knew that, so I cut it up for Daryl to take back for his people. Besides, Negan would take a lot of it when he stopped by their community again.

Daryl looked at her body as she lifted her shirt to check her wounds and looked away as she let her shirt fall down her body smoothly. She went to work on her hog and Daryl thought about how tough she was. Despite her feminine looks, she was a tough son’bitch.

I could feel Daryl looking at me as I cut up the hog and finally looked up at him and he looked down. “you got a question for me?” I finally asked when I felt him looking at me again and he looked down. He didn’t do anything for a while as we dressed the hogs.

“Ya single?” he finally said as we finished dressing the hogs and I looked at him, confused. That had come from nowhere. “well, actually yeah. All the guys at the sanctuary are afraid of me,” I said and Daryl looked up at me. “wha’ they ‘fraid of ya for?” Daryl asked as he cleaned his hands of the hog’s blood. “it’s not me they’re afraid of, its Negan. Couple months ago, Negan wanted me to become his 2nd wife, before he had the women he has now. I looked at him, his smug face all sure I would agree and come with him, but I smiled at him, all sexy-like, patted his cheek and said, ‘pass.’” Daryl let out a snort as the images formed in his head.

“yeah, he didn’t handle that very well. So now, all the guys are afraid to try anything with me. Because Negan couldn’t have me, they know he’d destroy any guy that managed to get to me, when he couldn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to be with someone, even if for a night, but Negan’s always breathing down my neck. I’m the bane of his existence, and he knows it and I know it. Now, that excites me,” I said in passing and watched Daryl’s reaction. As I thought a lot of blood rushed to his dick and he quickly had an erection. He turned his back to me, so I stood up and walked behind him, put my mouth near his ear and whispered, “I’d like there to be someone, even if we were just fuck-buddies.”

Daryl felt a shiver go down his spine as I whispered in his ear and he spun around fast, putting a hand around my neck gently, a sure smirk on my face. “I won’t fight it if you won’t,” I said to him and he pulled me to his tent, let me lay on the ground and quickly removed his clothes.

He pulled off his vest, long sleeve, boots and pants, but left on his shirt, not wanting her to see his scars. She wasted no time in taking everything off, her clothes placed on top of her bag so they wouldn’t get dirty. Daryl closed the flap the tent and looked at her: she was dirty, rugged, and beautiful, with her lightly tanned skin, long, braided hair that reminded him of honey, and her intense green eyes. Those eyes were something else. Daryl hovered over her as she looked up at him expectantly, then she smirked at him and flipped him over so she straddled him again with her hips, slid her body down his, her hands tracing his muscles, completely ignoring the scars he was so conscious about, and rested on the base of his shaft.

Her eyes sparkled with something, looked like trouble, and she licked his cock from the base to the tip in one long, flat-tongued move and Daryl grunted, the feeling so good, something he hadn’t felt in a long time. She licked all the way around his cock, covering every inch of it in her saliva and her tongue, her hands slowly working his base. She moved her head to the tip of his cock and licked at his crease, where pre-cum leaked eagerly down his cock and onto her hands. She lapped it up slowly, her eyes still looking at him mischievously, then she smirked at him again took his entire length into her mouth, his sensitive tip hitting the back of her throat.

Daryl grunted loudly and his hips bucked up to her involuntarily. He pulled on her hair, keeping her head in down on him as she moved up and down on his shaft; both her hands grabbed and rubbed his balls as her mouth moved up and down faster and faster, and he felt the release he hadn’t felt in years growing and clenching in his body. “fuck, c’mon spread yer legs,” Daryl said and Aura looked up at him, that grin still on her face, then she just smirked and said, “hmm, nope.” She went back down on his cock with her mouth, adding pressure as she sucked hard as she moved up his cock, running her tongue on the tip every time she moved up. “ah, fuck,” he said, long and drawn out as a welcome, intense charge shook his entire body; Aura pushed her head down on him and held her head there as he came, just swallowing what landed in the back of her throat, the rest dribbling down her chin. She held her mouth down on him for a few minutes as Daryl’s body rocked with energy and slowly he came down, the wonderful, aching bliss flowing through his entire body.

Aura leaned back from him as he lay on the tent floor, breathing heavy and Aura felt proud of herself; she wasn’t sure she wanted to have him inside her yet, he probably wouldn’t fit, but she missed that look on a guy’s face when a given a good blowjob. It brought a smile to her face as he slowly looked over at her. “ya really think I aint gonna make ya pay for that?” he said and Aura looked at him a little worried, and he saw the look on her face. 

“we don’t gotta fuck if ya don’t wanna,” he said and sat up and slid next to Aura on the side of the tent. “but ya are gonna pay for that,” he said and his hands grabbed her breasts and rubbed the nipples quickly, his mouth on one as the other was pinched between his thumb and forefinger. One hand slid down her body, her smooth skin of her torso and her stomach to the heat and wetness between her legs. She sighed and gasped lightly as he touched her, licked her and triggered her. he slowly used a hand to separate her folds and touched her inner heat. She was so smooth, so soft, and so wet. She dripped of his finger as he pulled away from her chest and looked down at her, his face going near her heat ad he smelt her. She smelt like fresh-cut grass and roses, and his tongue gently teased the small button. She jumped a little bit as he did, marveling at how sensitive she was; a finger from his other hand teased her outside her entrance and he realized why she had been so nervous: she was so tiny, he only got 1 finger in her, and couldn’t get another in her without hurting her.

“fuck, yer tight,” he said as he wiggled his finger inside her and she grabbed onto his shoulders as she fell apart on his hand very quickly. “Sensitive, ain’t ya?” he said, his finger moving faster against the smooth button inside her dripping cunt. She shook against his body and he loved the feeling of her falling apart around him, her eyes rolling back, her nails digging into his skin and her moans as she got closer and closer. “ah, fuck,” she said breathlessly as her walls around Daryl’s finger suddenly spasmed so hard and so tight, he thought it would break his finger. He slowed his finger down, barely moving it as he helped her ride out her own orgasm; he slowly removed his finger from her and smelt her cum on it. He licked it a little bit as she put her head against his shoulder, gasping for air.

“Fuck that was amazing. How are you still single?” Aura finally managed to gasp out and Daryl just grunted at her. She sighed loudly then pulled herself from him and collapsed on the tent mats, ready to fall asleep as the woods around them got black with the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No actual sex, no, but I thought with all the detail it needed a smut warning. Don't worry, more to come. (almost misspelled come) again, not sorry for that one. Feedback and comments are appreciated.


	11. A First Time for Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura and Daryl really get into one another, and Aura reveals something a surprising secret about her sex life. Or lack thereof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intense smut ahead. Hope you like it. Also some feels and angst mixed in near the end.

The next morning, I woke up and Daryl was gone from the tent. I assumed he was taking a leak, so I got dressed and changed my bandages, looking at how they were healing. They were healing really well, and I had gotten lucky because there was no sign of internal injuries or infection. A large boar could kill and gut a full grown man before the turn, let alone a single woman without decent guns at the ready. I was mad at myself for not having a larger gun out, instead going for a smaller caliber pistol; I felt like I could’ve avoided this whole incident, but if I had, I wouldn’t have run into Daryl again. As I thought about it, and just how good he was, I smiled and whispered to myself, “worth it.”

I picked everything up and wondered what I was going to do: Negan had said I shouldn’t come back without the supplies, but I had a lot of things I needed to retrieve at the sanctuary, and I wanted to get revenge on Dwight. He got 2 good people killed, one of them my best friend; I would risk Negan’s wrath for that.

Daryl came into the tent as I was packing, pulled my bag away from me and pulled me to the ground under him. I smirked up at him, the growl he let out turning me on again; “What, no round 2?” he growled into my ear and I flung myself around, so he was underneath me. “hell, yeah,” I said and pulled off my shirt again.

This time I wanted to feel him inside me, not just his finger, I didn’t care if it hurt or not. I threw off my clothes, and once again he left his shirt on. I groaned at him in anger and fought with him as I tried to pull it off, and he tried to keep it on. Eventually I won, and I eyed his wonderful body, his abs, his arms, and his upper chest, the part I liked most about men. I ran my fingers over his muscular upper body, turned on to no end as I felt his muscles moving under my fingertips. I could tell he got goosebumps as I touched him, then his hands gripped my ass and lifted me up to him, and tried to push himself into me and I gasped, but not from pleasure this time, from pain. He set me down and this time I was compliant, and a little nervous as I laid down on the mats of the tent and he looked at me, worried.

“I do want to, it’s just, there’s only been 1 before this, and that was a girl,” I said and he looked at me confused and I shook my head. “Long story. The short version is my roommate and I had a drunken sex night with her toys, that was my first and only time,” I said, feeling a little embarrassed as I did. I was never really open to guys in general, and my friend and I decided it was best to forget that night, since neither of us remembered much of it anyway.

“so, ya aint had a guy inside ya?” he said and I shook my head slowly. Daryl suddenly looked uncomfortable, like he wasn’t willing to be that guy to do that to a girl, especially so much later than normal. I looked at him and felt a little bit of shame for a moment, like it was my fault, and it kind if was. Between school, tests and work, I never really considered becoming serious with anyone. It was lonely at times, but it was me to the end.

“If you won’t, fine,” I said a little angrily. “You know how hard it is to stop Negan from coming into me, especially after I told him I wouldn’t be one of his wives? I’ll find someone else, but I wish you would. I actually kinda like you; you seem like a decent guy,” I said, and I was very disappointed he wasn’t willing to be with me.

“well, ya can’t lose it to Negan,” he said and I turned to him, and a smile slowly crossed my face. “But I won’t lie ta ya, this’ll prob’ly hurt ya,” Daryl said and he crawled over me again and leaned down onto me. His voice was deep, alluring and when he licked his fingers to prep me, he found me already dripping wet. “yer exctied,” he said and I smirked at him, then felt a little nervous as he pulled out his sizable cock. He slid in his pinky finger, then his ring finger together and moved them around and I felt the coil in my belly starting up again. I grabbed the mats hard as his fingering got more intense, then he took those 2 small fingers out and slid in his forefinger and middle finger. The coil faded almost instantly as I felt him stretching me rather fast and painfully, but I didn’t fight him and I hid the pain on my face as he moved those fingers around. The pain faded fast as he touched the spot inside me and sent shockwaves through my body. He waited until my eyes were rolling in the back of my head and my body was shaking until he slid in a 3rd finger, slow, very slow.

I gasped, a bit surprised at the pain, and I looked at Daryl. He looked like he was losing his nerve for doing this, so I closed my mouth, hid the pain behind a few moans, and slowly stroked him with a hand. He leaned forward and bit onto my neck and I gasped in pleasure for real this time, enjoying the wetness of his mouth on me, forgetting about his fingers until they brushed against the button inside me and I nearly hit the roof. “Ah, fuck!” I said as I came around his fingers again and held onto his muscular, warm shoulders for support as I shook.

Daryl said nothing, then slowly removed his fingers and I lay on the mats, ready for him. “ya want me ta stop, just say sum’in’,” he said and I looked at him like ‘not gonna happen.’ He leaned over me, pushing my legs up around his shoulders and I loved the feeling of his skin being so close to mine, his warmth against my skin, and our scars rubbing against each other. He teased me with his cock as he rubbed it against my slit and he got it wet with my slickness and he moaned loudly as he did. Another jolt shot through my body as I heard him moan: damn it was sexy.

Daryl leaned forward again, one hand on his shaft, another on my hip, and he slowly pushed into me. I gasped, the pain almost unbearable for a moment, then it faded as his head slipped into me. He held still, letting me get used to the intrusion, to get used to him; but he waited too long and I was getting anxious, so I began to move my hips against him. He smirked down at me and slowly he pushed in all the way, his hands tight on my hips as he groaned and grunted his way into me, balls deep.

I leaned my head back as I gasped at the feeling of being stretched so wide, so wonderfully. My legs shook, though I tried to make them stop, and Daryl slowly pulled out, a tiny bit at a time, then pushed back in, starting a slow, steady rhythm. I gripped his shoulders and I felt him shudder under me. I could tell he hated being touched on his back and chest, and hated someone seeing the scars, but I could see them and didn’t care about the scars, or the stories they told. I had my own that I was conscious about; my mind came back to Daryl as he hit something inside me that made me arch my back up and I let out a scream and I convulsed around his large cock. He gripped my hips hard as I came, and it felt so good for him it almost hurt as my very tight walls got even tighter around him.

“fuck,” was all he could say as he felt me coming down, my body shaking and my legs twitching as he started to move again, this time faster and harder. The sound of his balls slapping against me was wonderful and I gripped onto his shoulder and kissed the scars I could reach on him. As I did, he pushed into me so hard I came again, and I bit on his neck, holding in the scream that wanted to come out. His tongue licked up and down my neck, where a scar of my own marred my skin, from Negan beating me. I rubbed my hands down his back and he suddenly stopped, in me all the way, but not moving.

I looked up at him as I leaned back from him and I could see the uncomfortable look on his face as I ran my hands up and down his back again. “Scars are part of you, but they don’t define you,” I said simply and he shoved himself into me so hard I thought I would split in 2. He grunted hard, and I knew he was getting close as he twitched and grew inside me, then he suddenly pulled out, flipped me over hard, and I heard him grunt and groan as his seed splattered my back, covering some scars of my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is much more emotional, so be ready for that. Feedback and comments are appreciated


	12. The Scars We See And The Scars We Don't See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura talks about scars, which she and Daryl both have enough of, and breaks down Daryl's high walls like no one else has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: past abuse, child abuse, lots of pain and angst and some fluff.

We lay gasping on the tent floor as Daryl lay next to me and I looked at him as he pulled his shirt back on, obviously still self-conscious about his scars. “I felt that way about mine too. Like I wasn’t strong enough, like I was a pussy for letting them happen,” I said, trying not to get all teary-eyed as I pulled Daryl to me and he lay facing me, his shirt still on. “I felt so weak and helpless when I got them, and sometimes I feel like I should have done something, like I could have done something to stop them from happening, but there is no turning back the clock, as much as we all want to,” I said to Daryl as he lay on his side, facing me, sweat still layered on his body and his face slightly flushed and his sweaty hair hanging in his face.

“but I couldn’t stop them, and thinking about it only made it worse. The scars, they remind me of hard times, bad, terrible times, but they also remind me that I’m alive. They remind me that I’ve lived. And they remind me that I am Aura, that I am me, and they are as part of me as my soul, as my heart, as my legs and arms and body. And I know that everyone that matters to me, everyone that really loves me, accepts them as part of me, but knows they don’t define me.” I traced one of the scars on his chest, looked like a burn from some kind of appliance, almost like a waffle iron or some kind of skillet. I leaned forward and kissed it, slowly, moving from one end of the scar to the other, and I felt Daryl twitching under me as I did. At first he tried to get away, then he complied and held still, then his head fell forward onto my hair and I could tell from his shaking that he was crying.

I held him as he cried, his tears soaking my hair, then he held me tighter and buried his face in my shoulder. I closed my eyes tight, some tears of my own sliding down my face and mixing with his sweaty hair. My hands slowly worked their way down his back, tracing every scar with love and care, wanting to make his pain go away, to help make the pain less than what he felt. Though he looked like a tough bad-ass on the outside, inside he was still a scared, hurt man that needed someone to tell him he was loved, that every part of him was loved, from his rough, unkempt hair to his dirty boots and smelly feet to the many scars across his body, and that it was OK to cry. My fingers traced scars over his back over and over again, and I felt him shiver under my fingers, still shaking as he cried; he pulled me tight to his body and I felt the warmth of him against my still bare chest, and his hands linked up behind me and held me so tight I could barely breathe.

After a little while, he let me go and slowly he peeled off his shirt and let me looked at the scars all over his body. I gently ran my fingers over them, like I could make them go away with each touch, then slowly kissed them, from end to the other, every single scar. From the burn near his neck to the long slashes across his upper torso to the small burns and marks on his abs. I touched each one like my fingertips were erasers and would make them go away, then kissed them, like something a mother would do to make the pain go away.

Daryl shook as I touched each one, like he was afraid I would suddenly pull away from him like it was disturbing, like he was worth less time or worthless in general because of them. I kept close to him to let him know I was still there, and that I wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t find the scars ugly, disfiguring or anything like that. It was like they were his arm, or his leg. But they were more like his eyes, because they showed why there was so much pain in them, why he flinched when someone raised a hand to his face, if only to remove some dirt from it; why he distanced himself from everyone, why he was awkward, why he hated himself.

I finished kissing and touching his chest and abs, and he looked at me, almost asking for me to continue, and I motioned with my hands, gently for him to roll over. He was slow to respond, but he did, very slowly and I saw every scar, every mark, every painful memory on his skin that he kept hidden behind his leather, his grunt and his burly nature. I started at the top, with a small, thin scar that was barely there in the light of the setting sun; I touched it gently, from end to end with my gentle fingertips. I leaned forward and slowly and gently, left soft, loving kisses along the entire scar.

Daryl was shaking again and I knew he was crying, but it felt like it was a good cry, like he had never felt something like this before, like he had never felt someone care about him this much before. It made me sad to think that he had never felt something like this, never felt this kind of love and affection, that everyone should feel in their lives, but he never got it. I pushed back my own tears as I moved down his back, kissing and touching each and every single scar, every line, every burn mark, everything that made him self-conscious.

It was long past sunset when I was done, but I leaned forward, pressing my body against his back and I breathed onto him, my warm breath against his neck sending shivers down his spine and I could feel him relaxing into sleep. I nuzzled my face into the back of his neck, enjoying the smell of him: wet leaves, gasoline and campfire. His breathing changed and I knew he was sleeping, and I could feel my own body wanting to sleep, but I was wrestling with whether or not to ask him if I could go back with him to Alexandria. I couldn’t return to the saviors, and Daryl made me feel something that I hadn’t felt before, he made me feel complete, and made me feel…something. It was nice. I leaned into the back of his neck as he started to snore slightly, and I knew he was getting best sleep he’d gotten in a long time. I smiled against his skin and fell asleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst and the feels! This was hard to write, mostly because it's an emotional subject and I needed to get it right. It's also a big part of Daryl's character and his psyche. Feedback on this would be very much appreciated.


	13. Round 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl knows, and Aura knows, that she wouldnt be welcomed at Alexandria, but it still hurts him to say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more round of smut, and some feels.

The next morning I woke up, feeling more relaxed and peaceful and happy than I had felt in years, even before the turn. I looked over at Daryl, who was waking up too, and I smiled at him as he rolled over and looked at me. He ran his hand over my head and put some hair behind me ears as he looked at me like no one has looked at me before.

“Question for you, Daryl,” I asked him as we got dressed again, before we headed out to do some more hunting. “hmm,” he asked as he looked his crossbow over. “Negan told me to not come back without the supplies, so, would you all be open to me coming to Alexandria?” I asked him, a little worried about how he might react. It was like wanting to meet the family before the second date, except the 2 sides hated one another, on a nuclear-destruction level. Daryl just looked at me. “’ts not up ta me,” he finally said and I looked at him. “well, you know the person that would decide that. Would he take me in? they don’t need to like me, just let me live there,” I said, a little desperate this time. 

“Negan’s been takin’ most of our shit fer a while, and yer part of them. An’ I don’t know if Rick’ll risk gettin’ Negan all pissy,” Daryl said as he thought about it and I understood, but I didn’t like it. “I know, it’s dangerous taking me in anywhere. But I can’t stay with him anymore, he made that clear. I’ll pay them one last stop I think, before I head off,” I said, fingering the guns in my hands and Daryl looked at them. 

“ya gonna fight ‘em?” he finally asked and I could hear the worry in his voice, barely there. “no, just one of them. He got my friends killed, he’s been a pain the ass for everyone involved for some time. Negan keeps him alive because he’s married to one of his wives. It gives him some kind of power, some sick fetish shit. I’ll see if I can get Negan hit in there somewhere,” I said in passing, thinking about taking him out as a final farewell present and a smile came across my face.

“don’t go down to his level,” Daryl finally said and I looked at him, surprised. I thought he would understand the revenge I wanted, needed, before I left. I looked away from him and then said, “well, just Negan then. Dwight’ll take over I think, or Jasper, I don’t know. Negan doesn’t actually have a second in command, he just has followers. I’ll try to let you know when I do that, if I’m alive, but you should be able to tell if Negan dies, it’ll be on everyone’s faces. Hell, they might stop coming to take shit if Jasper or someone other than Dwight takes over. They aren’t fond of it either.”

I packed the rest of my things and Daryl stopped me as I tried to crawl out the tent. I looked at him as he looked down at me, puppy-dog eyes and muscular arms begging for me to go for round 3. “Will I see ya after this?” he finally asked and I nodded. “I’ll let you know what happens as soon as I can,” I said and he put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me. “not what I meant,” he said and I sat down on the tent floor and looked up at him. “whenever you want,” I said and bit his lower lip, his hand wrapping around my waist. Round 3 had started.

It was much faster this time, Daryl pulling down his pants again as I pulled off all my clothes, and knew we didn't have much time, but we were already warmed up. Daryl kept his shirt on this time, and I didn't push it; he slid inside me with more ease this time, but it still gave me a faint sting when he first entered. That went away as soon as he started a fast, intense pace and he had me screaming and writhing underneath him. I gripped into his arms, leaving marks from my nails, as he pounded relentlessly into me. 'yer so tight," he said and I could feel he was as close as I was as the coil in my belly was ready to spring loose.

One more hard, deep stroke from Daryl had me arching my back, his name coming from my mouth, and he pulled out fast and came on my face, some getting into my mouth as I gasped for air. I didn't spit it out, and just swallowed it as I looked back up at him, a smile on my face, his cum slowly sliding down my cheeks and lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments, suggestions or feedback would be appreciated.


	14. First Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura recollects her first encounter with Negan, and her becoming part of the Saviors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback starts at the black line in the text until the end of the chapter. More flashback next chapter.

That night I lay on the tent floor and wondered if I should go back to the sanctuary at all. There nothing for me there anymore, other than the people that needed me, and the promise I made to Ryan. I sighed as I answered my own dilemma. Thinking about it, I wasn’t scared as I thought about dying: I had wanted to die for months now, ever since I lost my brother on a run, but had stayed alive for the people around me. 

I wondered about everyone at the sanctuary that I cared about: Sarah, Molly, Emmett, Ronny, Andy, Mina, Rose, Alejandro, so many people there. If Negan beat me to death when I returned, they would see me one last time and I would be able to tell them how much they meant to me, and I could maybe turn them against Negan. But it was doubtful; as much as they liked me, they feared Negan more, and once I was dead, there was nothing to stop Negan, nothing and no one.

I sighed: I had been dealt a bad deck of cards considering where I ended up, in terms of settlement. I wished I had been with Daryl in Alexandria; that seemed like the best place to be from what I had heard about. The leader was much more thoughtful and considered other people to be important, not his power and his hold on those people. Thinking about that brought me back to the first time I ever met Negan, and my first weeks at the sanctuary.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was running with my brother, running from a small herd of walkers, maybe 50 or so. Yep, that’s a small herd of walkers, considering I’ve seen them over a thousand strong. We hadn’t eaten in 2 days, had run out of water and were out of ammo, except for the last bullet we each carried in our pockets. We had made a pact with one another, that in case we were cornered we would go out on our own terms. But we were gaining ground on the herd, so we took a turn into a small house and turned on some things, mostly toys with some juice still in them, to keep the walkers from coming towards us. It worked, so we were able to get away.

The next day, we were looking for water, and I felt like someone was watching us, though I never saw anyone. The water we found smelt odd, so I looked around for signs of contamination, and saw a walker had fallen into the flow of the little creek, filling the water with its decomposing flesh ad disease. Even boiled, I wasn’t sure the water was safe, so we had to dig down into the ground where the soil was moist and let a hole fill up with water, filtered it through some rags and boiled that. The entire time, I was sure someone was watching us, and I kept shooting up from my position, trying to find the source of the stares.

I hunted that day, leaving my brother Taurus, yes that was his real name, to tend the fire and boil all the water we could carry. I got a few squirrels and a rabbit, and went back to camp with them, but there wasn’t anyone there. I dropped the food and looked for my brother, following his footsteps through the woods and came to a road. I stared as he looked back at me, smiling for the first time in months, a group of 4 men behind him, including Negan. “these men have a place, water, food, shelter, other people,” my brother was hopelessly naïve, even until the end. He would trust almost anything anyone said, no matter how dangerous they might be. He was never really able to tell how dangerous someone was like I could. 

“It’s more than a place. We call it the sanctuary, because that is what it is. It’s a place for anyone to come. There’s almost 50 there right now,” one of the men said and I looked at him, my hand on my pistol and they looked ready to raise theirs. “Sanctuary? I’ve heard that before. Last time someone called a place a sanctuary, we ended up running from cannibals and lost our last people,” I said, my voice dark and calculating. It was then that Negan stepped forward and looked me over. I hated his glare, and I hated him the moment I laid on him. He was far too cocky, used to getting what he wanted, and was a manipulative asshole. He had a leather jacket on over a tight white shirt, red scarf around his neck, salt and pepper short beard on his smiling and smug face, leather glove on one hand, and a bat wrapped in barbed wire slung over his shoulder.

“I understand your reluctance to come with us. It’s up to you to come back with us, but you have my word, this place is a real sanctuary, and we could really use a woman like you. My men tell me you can hunt, even fucking track, all kinds of survival shit. We have a lot of people, but not many skilled people, like yourself. But if you wanna fucking stay on the road, beat deadies all the fucking live long day, it’s up to you. But we gotta get back,” Negan said, his face watching me, his eyes staring me down as I looked at my brother, who was hell-bent on going. He had already climbed in the truck, a massive smile on his face and I sighed. “alright, we’ll come back with you,” I said finally as Negan looked ready to leave me behind. “good choice, darlin’. Let’s get back, I’m fucking done with deadies for the day.” Negan slapped his hand on the hood of the truck and it drove off, me in the back with my brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this showed somethings about Aura. Comments and feedback is welcomed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More flashback and background on Aura and her integration into the Saviors, and the start of her hatred for Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aura's brother, Taurus, is also an OC, and is meant to seem much more naive than Aura.

The sanctuary was massive, and I was in a little awe the first time I saw it. It looked like it had once been a factory of some kind; 6 stories high, it took up over a square block in size and chimneys rose from the roof into the sky, some crumbling a little bit from lack of care. The first floor windows were all barred, some with rusting wrought-iron bars, others with makeshift blockades; the place might have been a foundry of some kind, because old train tracks ran towards it, and a massive overgrown parking lot sprawled in front it, but was now covered in raised garden beds, with all kinds of plants growing in them. 

People working in the gardens looked up as we came towards them in the loud truck and I was disheartened as I noticed that they all either knelt or bowed their heads down towards Negan as we drove up. I looked at my brother, but he hadn’t noticed it, he was too busy looking at the other people and the things that were growing. He was most taken with the range of ages he saw, from maybe 6 or 7 to late 60s. I was glad to see they kept those people alive too and didn’t write them off because they were old, but I was most concerned about how everyone had to bow or kneel for Negan.

The next few days, we were assigned the shitty jobs in the sanctuary, and were given the tour. The main room where everyone met was where the foundry had once been, but the machines were long stripped of their metal and parts. Negan held meetings in there sometimes, but I was told I didn’t want to see them. Given how he made everyone kneel for him, how he treated other people and how he loved the power he had, I was already thinking about leaving before the first week was up. I talked to Taurus about it, but he wasn’t ready to leave, he didn’t want to leave. Until we went to our first meeting.

6 days into our stay, someone was tied down into a chair, and we joined the group as they all gathered in the massive factory room. Negan looked at everyone there, and I looked around. They all looked lifeless, like they were walkers too, just not dead. They were robots, trained and obedient, and I hated it the moment I saw it. “The rules keep us safe,” they all echoed when Negan said something to the crowd I couldn’t hear. Then Negan pulled out a red-hot iron from a fire and pressed it to the face of the man tied to the chair.

I gasped and put my hand to my mouth so no one would hear me, trying not to gag at the smell of the burning flesh and hair, and the brutality of the wounds, but also how casual Negan had been about the entire thing. It was like he didn’t give a shit. He had long ago lost his humanity, and my brother could finally see it too. We met up afterwards and decided we would leave as soon as we could, once one of us was put on guard rotation, or a raid distracted Negan and his men.

For a month we waited, planning and thinking about it, taking the shit jobs still because we were the bottom of the point pyramid, as we called it. We made no friends, rarely talked to anyone, and just kept our heads down to stay under the radar. Taurus was finally put on guard rotation, and I was getting ready to pack up everything and meet him there, and then we’d make a break for it and just stay on the road again. But that night, we also had a raid, and my brother was on the front line and was one of the first injured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this background chapter. More about where Aura learned her skills in the future, though not sure where it'll go exactly. Comments and feedback are appreciated.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final flashback chapter that looks at Aura's first month at the Sanctuary. Her skills that she learned in Chicago come in handy as she helps many injured saviors, including her brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter is a flashback, but it ends with the line near the end of the chapter.

I heard the gunshots from our shared room, and ran to see what the problem was; I gathered up my things and ran to see Taurus and make sure he was ready, but I ran into Negan on the way there, and he stopped me before I could make a break for it. I pulled myself free of the ‘man’ and ran for Taurus, then saw someone dragging him in, a hole in his side from a bullet. I was so furious, because there was never going to be another chance for us to get away, Negan was likely going to kill us; he knew what I was doing with my shit, I could tell. So I had to choose, leave without my brother and leave him to die, or stay and help him live, then die. As much as I knew my brother was hopeless on the road, I loved him, he was all I had left. I spun around on the spot and headed for the medical bay, one of the places we had been shown on our tour.

The place was full of people, so many relatives and friends had come to see if someone they knew was hurt, or was carrying someone that needed attention. The old doctor was shaking, overwhelmed and I pushed my way thru the crowds, let off an air horn and told everyone that wasn’t injured to leave. Negan and some of his men had come in, and I told his men to force everyone out that wasn’t injured, and he did it after looking at me for a moment. 

I looked at the injured, my brother first, and decided his wound wasn’t as bad as the puncture lung on the bed next to him. I looked at him first, the doctor panicking as the boy he was working on started to bleed profusely; I moved in on him, ignoring his protests and clamped down on the bleed, noticing the gaping wound in the kid’s lower chest, most likely his liver. I opened him up, fast as I could, and thanked God he was still unconscious as I did it. Part of his liver was damaged, but it would grow back, the liver was amazing at regeneration. I removed the portion of the liver that was shot, used the few dissolvable stitches on his injuries and when I was done, I pointed to the man next to him, and told him to clean him up and stitch his shut. 

“I’ve never done stitches before,” the man said and I looked at him and said, “sure you have. You’ve done them before, it’s not hard, it’s like sewing. Line up his skin and sew him shut.”

I turned from that kid to the next one that needed my attention, the one with the punctured lung. “Doc, where are the stents or chest tubes kept?” I shouted to the man who was against the wall, in shock, blood on his hands and sleeves, splattered on his clothes. I pointed to Negan’s men and said, “you. I’ll call you Beta. Find me either a chest tube or lung stent, it’ll have a 1-way valve on it and should be labeled with a size near the plastic valve piece. Check that cart,” I pointed to the cart and the man looked at Negan then followed what I said and looked in the cart. “this thing?” he asked as I put in a small cut into the boy with the collapsed lung and he pulled away from me in agony. “you, you’re Charlie. Hold him down, and you’ll be delta, find me something to either sedate him or find me painkillers. And Beta, that’s the right thing, yeah. Negan, I need you to go to everyone waiting outside, find these kids’ blood types and get a match for transfusions, or find everyone with O-negative.” I had said this all loudly and wondered if Negan would do anything that I told him, but he disappeared outside and I heard him talking to the people and he brought in 5.

“Beta, you get everyone on a gurney, clean their inner elbows and put the transfusion kits next to them. Ask their blood type and write it on the white block at the top of the bag,” I said to him and this time he didn’t look at Negan for confirmation, but just did it. He even found ties for their arms and bandaids and cotton for their punctures when I got to them. “Beta, come here. I need you to hold this piece steady as I insert it into his chest,” I said as I held out the small bag attachment to the tube and he came over as I sliced more into the kid and he passed out from the pain. 

“Where the hell are the meds, Delta?!” I shouted to the man looking through everything and he shook his head. “fuck,” I said under my breath and then looked back at him. “ok, I need you to check on the other patients that I haven’t treated yet and have them rate their pain, and it they’re still bleeding,” I said as I pushed the tube into the kid’s chest and blood came splashing out. I let the blood come out, almost filling the bag and waited until the flow stopped. The blood wasn’t as warm as I thought it would be, and when it was done flowing, I put a mask on the kid and forced air into his lungs. 

He started coughing and gasping, in a lot of pain, but I made sure Charlie held him down as I tied off the tube and looked him over. The bleeding had stopped and his lungs sounded clear; a lot of collapsed lungs would clear themselves up when the lung was reinflated. The pressure would stop the bleeding and allow the wound to heal on its own. I turned now to Delta as he came back to me and said the worst off now was my brother. He was still bleeding, but he was awake and seemed to be more whining than anything.

I turned to my brother, who looked like I had abandoned him and I looked at him, a serious look on my face. “it’s triage, Taurus. it’s not personal,” I said and had Charlie, the biggest one there, hold him down too as I looked him over. The bullet had gone through his side, and looked like it missed anything major, even his kidney. I spent less time on him than the others because it was a flesh wound. I packed the wound with some bandages and gauze, and told him I’d be back in 10 minutes to check on him.

I went to the last 2 injured, one from a bullet to the foot but it was got caught in his shoe and his foot would be fine. I splinted his foot, told him to stay off it a few weeks, because the impact of the bullet had hit his foot in a very painful part, but nothing was really broken. The other one had a flesh wound to his arm, and a dislocated shoulder. With ease I popped his shoulder back in and stitched up his arm. 

By the time it was over I was exhausted; I had been up treating wounds for over 12 hours, and had been awake for almost a full day before that. I felt the telltale nausea coming up, something that happened to even seasoned army vets, like the man I learned all this from. I demanded only a cigarette as payment, to speed up the nausea, another trick the veteran had taught me. I found the patio, puffing the sick smoke from my mouth, coughing as I felt the bile and vomit coming up. I heard someone behind me, and knew it was Negan; I grasped the knife in my pocket, ready to lash out at him if he tried anything, but instead he just walked next to me and looked at me.

“you never did tell me what the fuck you did before the world went to fuck,” he said, his love of the word ‘fuck’ ever-present and a little overused. It lost its punch after a while.

“you know why I wanted a cigarette? Someone once showed me this trick, after a bad day in Chicago. He said it speeds up the nausea after a shitstorm like this,” I said, ignoring what he was saying to me, then I promptly vomited over the railing of the small cement patio. I heard someone below me scream and moan, and I felt a little bad I had gotten someone, but pulled myself away from the side, put out the rest of the cigarette and headed back inside.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Daryl suddenly shifted next to me and I jumped a little bit. He looked at me and I could tell he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave, but he needed to get back to his people, and I had one last thing I needed to do before I went on the road again. “I wish I could come back with you, and live in Alexandria, but I understand how you all would feel about a savior, regardless of how much I can’t stand Negan. I’ll stop by in a week or so, maybe bring some food for you all. So, I guess this is goodbye,” I said and saw the look in his eyes. He wasn’t good at goodbyes, or emotions in general, but he nodded to me, let out one of his sexy grunts and I hugged him goodbye. I liked hugging, and I knew he wouldn’t, but this was probably the last time I would see him.

“It’s been fun,” I said before I peeled back the flap to the tent and walked out into the growing sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll see Daryl again, don't worry. Comments and feedback are appreciated.


	17. Negan's Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the sanctuary, 4 days after Aura and her group left, Negan gets the news from Dwight that she's dead. And he has a surprising reaction to the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very good writing Negan, so I'm sorry if he's OOC. Also, I haven't seen him in the TV series, only the novels, so my interpretation of him may be off. Also, trigger warning: mentions of torture and rape. But, it's Negan, so yeah.

Back at the sanctuary, Negan was thinking about Aura. Her group had been gone for 4 days, longer than Aura thought it would take, and he had started to wonder if he would need to replace his doctor and his primary guard. He groaned to himself as he thought about the nightmare that would be. He picked up Lucille and swung her around a little bit, then set her down and decided he was in the mood. He walked to wife number 2, a small, pretty little thing, barely 30, and she was dressed in her favorite silky dress with matching pumps and makeup, fully dolled up like she knew he was coming for her. 

He pulled off her clothes and his, and ploughed into her fast and hard, then a knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He looked down at wife #2, who had been moaning and making very exaggerated noises, and he realized he had imagined her as Aura for most the time he was inside her. “We gotta speed this up,” he said with a growl and finished inside her, not caring what her pleasure was like. The wife looked at him, a little disappointed, and he pulled everything back on and answered the door. Jasper was there, a sad look on his face as he bowed his head for Negan. “Dwight’s back, but the others aren’t,” Jasper said and Negan felt an odd, anxious pull in his chest.

Negan walked to where the people coming from runs returned to and saw Dwight there, scratched up, tired and dehydrated, but no Aura, no Ryan and no Michelle. “What the fuck happened?” Negan said, his face angry a she looked at the man. Dwight knelt before Negan, almost like he was begging for forgiveness, then said, “we were ambushed, by a group on the road on the way back. They killed Ryan and Michelle, and shot Aura. Aura and I shot them all, all those bastards that killed Ryan and Michelle, but she could barely walk.” Dwight paused here, trying to make sure his story was believable and coherent. “then a herd of deadies came through. Aura told me to leave her behind, because the deadies were gaining on us, and she couldn’t walk. She pushed me away, told me to warn you all of the herd, where it was. When I turned to run, I heard a shot. Please, Negan, I am so sorry, I know Michelle was one of the best shots. And I know Ryan was one of the strongest people here. There was nothing I could do,” he said his body shaking. 

Negan thought about everything the cowering man before him said. It was a lot like Aura to tell someone to leave her if she was injured and was at risk of getting someone hurt. That was the kind of woman she is. Was, woman she was, a voice in his head said and he punched Dwight in his anger. There was nothing he could fault the cowardly man on enough to bash his brains in, and Dwight was a good follower, obedient, but very stupid. Negan walked away from Dwight and walked back up the stairs to his room, ignoring his wives as they tried to comfort him. 

“Oh, Negan. We’re so sorry about Ryan and Michelle. Michelle was such a nice girl,” wife #3 said and rubbed his shoulders, but he wasn’t in the mood to be touched. He wanted, more than anything, to be able to touch Aura, even if she was punching him. He missed her confrontations, her smirk, her smile, and how she smelt like fresh-cut grass and roses all the time. 

“well, things will be easier for you now. Aura’s not here anymore. I know she stressed you out so much,” she said, making and baby face as she said it and Negan felt his blood boil for a moment. He pushed it down, he wouldn’t show any feelings for the woman that had continually undermined him while she was here. “you know, I heard she was planning on taking everything and leaving us, leaving you. Selfish bitch,” wife #3 added and Negan turned around in anger. He threw #3 off the bed and onto the floor, then threw her out of his room.

Aura wouldn’t take everything: everyone here needed that shit, and those people mattered to Aura, even if she couldn’t stand him. She worked for the greater good, forgetting what she wanted so others were better off. That’s why, even after Negan beat the shit out of her for trying to leave, even after locking her up in the ‘light room’ as punishment, she returned to be the doctor for everyone else. 

She hadn’t tried to kill him either, because she knew what would happen: she knew it would bring about civil war. That was her strength, and her weakness. She wasn’t willing to put people in danger, or hurt them, to get things done. But no matter how hard he had tried, Negan had never been able to break her, to get her to cry mercy, to get her allegiance. It bugged the shit out of him, but it also turned him on. He’d never met a woman as strong as her before, and he found it refreshing, and unbelievably arousing.

He thought about her time in the ‘light room,’ called that because the lights were on all the time, so there was no telling what time it was, what day it was, and it was almost impossible to get sleep because the lights hummed very loudly. The goal was to break the prisoner from lack of sleep, paranoia, or anything that might break the mind. Aura had been in there 9 days, 5 days longer than the last person lasted, and she still hadn’t given in. she was let out because there had been another shootout and she was needed to fix everyone up. Hell, she managed to fall asleep on a regular schedule in that room, like it was nothing to her. That was when Negan first found her intriguing, her ability to overcome whatever shit position she was in.

He thought about how he once beat her so bad, she couldn’t see, she lost a tooth and had a cracked molar, she couldn’t see out of her left eye for a week and couldn’t hear out of her left ear for a couple days. Her kidneys were bruised, and she had even coughed up some blood from her broken ribs, and she still refused to submit to him. She didn’t fight back; she didn’t even make any noise when he beat her other than her breathing. He knew it was to deny him that satisfaction of her whimpering or crying. 

Negan had even gone so far as to threaten her with rape, something that normally cracked women, and something he really didn’t want to do, but if she needed a lesson, so be it. She didn’t even bat an eyelash. He dragged her to his room and fucked her in the ass over and over, trying to get any reaction from her; but she didn’t cry, didn’t beg, she just stared at him, into his eyes. He tried to get some kind of moan from her, playing her clit, her breasts, nothing; he had finished inside her to piss her off, that was sure to do it, and still there was nothing from her. Her eyes were very much alert and awake, but she was refusing to show him any sign of weakness, to not give him a single moment of power. 

Her lack of response was almost unnerving, until he learned about her a bit more. She’d been through hell when the world turned to shit, everything she had done for the people she cared about, mostly for her brother. She’d been left behind for dead, beaten, tortured. But she never told her captors anything, and she got herself out. She’d learned how to block it all out, how to not show a single emotion, to not give anyone the satisfaction of hurting her. 

Despite being a constant pain in his ass, and the most likely cause of a rebellion in the sanctuary, he had secretly wanted her. He wouldn’t ever show it, because his men would think he was weak for falling for the one thing that was in his way, the one thing that wouldn’t give him complete power. They already thought he was weakening for not killing Aura when she clearly sassed him, even if she was the only doctor the saviors had. She’d done it so many times, he couldn’t count them all. For some reason, her rebellion turned him on more than the pliable wives he had, all 5 put together.

A knock on the door pulled him back to reality, and he put that smirk back on his face, his toothy grin and went to see what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked, and let me know if Negan was done well or he was too OOC. Comments and feedback are welcome.


	18. The Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News spreads about Aura's death, and her influence in the saviors is really shown as Negan tries to keep things from snowballing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems odd, Negan liking Aura, but it makes sense later.

Dwight knew just how lucky he was that Negan hadn’t killed him, and had begged for forgiveness on his knees, kissing Negan’s black leather boots when Negan just punched him once and didn’t bash Lucille down on his scarred head. He knew that if Negan ever knew the truth, he would be killed very painfully and publicly. Dwight could tell that Negan had a thing for Aura, for the woman that refused to break, that’s what everyone thought her as. Most people thought that Negan was keeping her alive because she was the only medical personnel they had left, but no. She was kept alive because Negan actually liked her. Dwight had no idea why, the woman hated Negan and had undermined Negan’s rule multiple times. 

She had given some help in her rooms to people that didn’t have the points to be treated in the medical bay, and used her own points for the supplies, saying she was practicing on corpses and walkers to get better. She would treat people for colds, chronic illness, even give stitches and other smaller procedures in her room, or go to their rooms and do it. After about a month of this sneaking around, Negan found out, and someone gave up Aura. 

Negan had locked her up in the small rooms in the basement, once used for storage, now prison cells, called the dungeon. Negan had gone down after locking her up with some words to torment her for a few hours, then when she still refused to submit to him, Negan beat the shit out of her. Negan said it was a lesson to her, to listen to him, to obey him. When Negan had come back, he looked a little, unnerved, and Dwight had seen that Aura had refused to submit to him. Hell, she hadn’t made any noise, even when Negan broke her ribs. She barely coughed, though she did cough up blood, and refused treatment from the current doctor. 

She was often seen rolling her eyes at Negan, even landing a few punches and calling him out on his practices as leader. And he didn’t kill her; Dwight knew Negan had more fun trying to break her, and it was a better play to get her on his side, to get Aura to submit and follow Negan, than it was to kill her. So many people liked her that they would probably rebel and kill him if he tried to kill her, even if he did it privately.

Negan was often at Aura’s throat, threatening her to submit to him, but with no more brother of hers, he had no insurance policy on her, nothing to make her even consider giving up to him. she had more power in the place than anyone else, and he needed her to submit to him. The people liked her, some of his guards liked her more than they liked Negan. Negan knew it was a good thing she was gone, because there was no one to challenge him anymore, but that didn’t stop him from missing her.

A few days later, when another raid went bad, the medical bay was packed with people injured and non-injured, and everyone needed Aura, they needed her because no one knew what to do. They needed direction, needed help and needed hope, but there was no one there to give it to them. All those that had been hurt died, all 6 of them young kids, barely 18, good fighters, and the talk was that Negan had ordered Dwight to finally kill Aura. 

The rumors spread fast in the halls of the sanctuary, and it wasn’t long before people formed their opinions on what happened, and what was going to happen.

“she was insubordinate, she deserved it. She should’ve been dead a while ago.”

“what’ll we do? The new doc don’t know his ass from his eye.”

“he killed her, I know it. And now my boy is dead because of that.”

“Shh. Not so loud.”

“he’s right. We need Aura. Needed Aura. That doc is a fucking moron. We’ll die come winter without her.”

“Negan’s gotten us through a winter already, he can do it again.”

“No, Aura got us through that winter. She saved those lives from that sickness, not Negan. And she did it while she was sick. I don’t think he left his room while we were suffering and dying done here.”

“Shh. You wanna get your head bashed in?”

“be better than slowly dying from some bug or infection. Without, Aura, we’ll all die. Don’t matter how much shit Negan takes. Shit is good, but a doctor’s the only one that can use the shit to keep us alive.”

This and similar conversations carried through the corridors, and Negan knew he might need to bash some heads in, go for the iron or other things to get everyone back in line. He liked the robot people, liked the power they gave him, and he tried to keep them alive as best he could, but he would need to bring them back in line, with punishments if needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. The conversation is meant to be a group of people talking about Aura's death and the subsequent loss of 6 young Saviors.


	19. Negan Holds a Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some suicides after Aura's death, 2 women call Negan out and he can feel his power slipping from him, even as he uses Lucille to bash their heads in. And his mind is drifting to Aura more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Lucille bashes in some heads, and its a little graphic.

A scream echoed through the halls and several women and children ran from a hall, a child crying as she was pulled away by a guard. An entire family had committed suicide, but the father had run out of power for the drill he used on his 2 kids and wife. He just slit his wrists and turned when he died. Negan came out of his room when he heard the running and screaming, and ran through the corridor, pulling a little girl away from the undead man and handed her off to someone that ran by then bashed in the head of the father. 

Negan looked at the man and knew him: his daughter was often sick, and he was one of Aura’s main supporters. The man had been amazing at fixing things, Jeff was his name, that’s right. It was a loss, because he had been skilled, but it was thinning out the people that were either weak or supported Aura. Maybe he wouldn’t need to bash in too many heads if this kept up. But he couldn’t let suicide roll through the sanctuary like a bug.

Negan wiped off Lucille and knew he needed to get a handle on this, he needed to calm people down, or others would be tempted to go the same way. The last he needed was for his people to panic and follow suit. He gathered everyone into the meeting area and told everyone that Aura had been lost on a run for medical supplies, and sacrificed herself after she was injured to save Dwight, to warn all of them of the herd she and Dwight had seen. As he looked around at their faces, most of them didn’t believe him. Their eyes veiled anger, hurt and most of all, distrust. They weren’t his normal robots anymore, they seemed to have a spark in them now, the spark Negan had worked so hard to put out to keep himself in power. He knew there was only one way to end this. 

He motioned to Dwight and Jasper, and they pulled up 2 women, both had been friends with Aura, and both were staring at Negan with full hatred on their faces. “what is the most important thing to remember here, ladies?” he asked and most of the group in the back echoed, “the rules keep us safe.”

“no, the rules keep you safe,” one of the women on the ground said abruptly and there were tears in her eyes. She had supported Aura so much, and now she as gone. She had loved that woman like her sister, like her friend, and without her, there was nothing really to keep her from going on. She had no other friends of family here, there was nothing for Negan to threaten her with, other than the death she wanted.

There was an audible gasp from the crowd when she spat this out at Negan and the other woman nodded. “the rules suit you, not us. You get all the power, all the glory, and we suffer. Everyone suffers, but you,” the other woman said in anger and Negan sighed. “I understand you miss Aura, ladies. But what you speak is not fucking true. I know she fucking hated me, I know she worked to undermine every-fucking-thing we’ve worked and bled and even fucking died to build here. Now, I know how Aura can paint things, all rosy and wonderful and shit, so if you just apologize, and admit that Aura was lying, you can go back with everyone, and forget this fucking mess ever happened.”

Negan wasn’t used to showing this kind of mercy, but if he got the women, some of Aura’s supporters, to renounce Aura and submit to him, that would be more than just killing them outright. He looked down at them, smile wide and toothy, charisma oozing off him as he tried to get them to do as he wanted.

“Aura wasn’t lying. She sees this place for what it really is: a fucktoy for you to rape whenever you feel like it. You make us bow, work for points, and if we don’t have enough to cover something, you let us die. Its bullshit…” one woman said and was stopped when Negan beat in her head and the first row of people in the room backed up as the blood sprayed all over. A few people let out small screams; she had been a very nice woman and would use her points to help others like Aura had done, even after Negan beat the shit out of Aura for that.

Negan turned to the other woman, and said, “I’m sorry about your friend, but…” he started to say then the woman interrupted and said. “bullshit, you’re not sorry.” Negan then beat her head in, the brain matter scattering onto a few kids in the front of the meeting and they fell back, crying as they tried to wipe the gore from their faces. “I understand you all miss Aura. She was a good doctor, and a decent person, but she spread lies about me and about this place. This is the sanctuary, this is our home, and we are the saviors, the future of this whole fucking world,” Negan finished, Lucille hanging from his hand, loudly dripping blood onto the floor. He looked at the faces and everyone was looking down, not looking at him, and it was hard to tell who didn’t believe him and who was truly a robot still. 

Negan dismissed the meeting and everyone left in a hurry, except the guards that took away the bodies and burned them out back, making small markers for them inside. They didn’t bury the dead here, there wasn’t enough space for that, so they burned them and made markers for them in a small back room for people to go and mourn when they needed to.

Negan went back to his room and was greeted by wife #3 again, who had a rising bruise on her arm and around her eye from being pushed and tossed. She was all lovey on him as he sat in the chair, and she sensually cleaned off Lucille for him, even licking Lucille once she was clean, and Negan felt himself turned on. He fucked her hard again, taking his sweet-ass time and making her cum 2 times before he finished, but the entire time, as he stared down at wife #3’s back, all he could see and think about was Aura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Negan is trying to be a manipulative bastard to get the people on his side again, because he feels his power slipping faster. Comments and feedback are welcomed.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aura returns to the sanctuary to fulfill the promise she made Ryan, and says goodbye to that place, and one of her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short. This is the final chapter in this part of the series. The next series picks up with Nikki, the guard, and more Negan.

A little over 2 weeks since leaving the sanctuary for the ranger station, I was within sight of the massive building and could see who was on guard for the night. I saw several men that supported Negan, whom he had probably told to shoot me if they saw me again, but on the far side was Nikki, someone I knew wouldn’t open fire on me at first sight. I slunk through the darkness around the place, scaled the wall until I was near her and whispered out to her, calling her so I wouldn’t scare her. She peeked her head over the side of the wall and smiled at me, then tried to ask some questions. 

“I don’t have time, Nikki. I just need one favor, please. Give these to Michael, the one that Ryan was always with. I can’t come back, Negan said that if I didn’t have enough shit to return with, I wasn’t allowed back. And I lost the shit when Dwight left me to die.” I was lying about the last part, but no one would know and I knew Nikki wouldn’t tell anyone that she saw me, certainly not anyone that would blab to Negan and get poor Nikki in trouble. 

Then I remembered something that my brother had made for me a long time ago, before he died, but after we had been part of the saviors. I pulled out the small braided bracelet with metal band bearing my name; my brother had made it for me once we were settled and he used some points for the supplies, but it was too small. I had kept in in my pocket every day since he died. I gave it to her, asking her to keep it, something to remember me by, but not to get caught wearing it; it might get her in trouble. I gave her a one-armed hug before I slid down the wall and winced as I hurt my healing stomach, slunk low the ground again, keeping still as someone walked by me, and disappeared into the woods about a mile from the building.

Before I lost view of it, I looked back at that peeling white paint of the building and knew that Nikki was trying not to cry at her post. We had gotten along well; I got along with almost everyone because I saved their lives, the lives of their friends and family, and was a much better person than the last doctor. That sick man had been old, not very good, and turned out a dirty old man with a disturbing like for seeing children in ways they never should be seen. He’d been a sick pedophile and as soon as Negan found out, he beat the dirty old man’s head in, even if it left the sanctuary without a doctor. I stepped up as soon as someone needed help, and not because Negan wanted me to, I had made that perfectly clear. Though the place held a lot of terrible memories for me, beatings, torture, rape, losing my brother, I would miss everyone that I had come to like within those walls. I just hoped they would be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this part of the series, and i have more coming soon. If you liked it, leave me some kudos. As always, comments and feedback is appreciated. I'll see you in the next part of the series.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought, feedback is good.


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